Extreme fear

[sarah]

Hi i used my fingers today it felt more difficult than th largest dilators? Has anybody else experienced this?

Thank you

[sarah]

Hi. Nakitalab

Thanku so much for ur reply…its good to know i can turn to u all….. Felt so alone for soo long and want a gappy story–)

How long after botox did u achieve intercourse?

[Nakitalab]

It was day 14 for me, but as you read through the Forum you will notice that everyone is different. Some sooner and some later. It is really important that you don’t judge yourself against how others have or are doing as we are all different and have different stories behind our Vaginismus. I would be more than happy to share my e-mail address with you. I’m here for you 24/7. You are not alone anymore! :0)

[Heather34]

Hi Sarah. Welcome to the Forum and thank you for your post. I am so sorry to hear of your struggles with vaginismus and I am so, so happy you have found Dr. Pacik’s website and this forum. I, too, struggled with vaginismus for several years and the majority of my relationship and marriage prior to finding Dr. Pacik’s treatment. I tried several other treatments prior, including using the vag.com dilators on my own, PT, biofeedback, etc. and nothing worked to cure my vaginismus. For me personally, Dr. Pacik’s treatment was the cure that my husband and I had searched for so long for as it combined both physical as well as emotional treatment for vaginismus. I had the 10-20 minute Botox procedure under anesthesia and then woke up with the largest silicone blue dilator inside of me (pure romance dilator set). This was a turning point for me as I realized for the first time that something of this size was inside of me entirely pain free and it gave me such increased confidence. Thereafter, you are assisted and taught how to insert, remove, and re-insert all of the sized dilators. This, too, was such an important aspect of the program. Prior to the procedure, I was so nervous that I would not be successful with this part of the program and would never be able to do what they were asking of me (i.e. inserting and removing these foreign objects of all sizes … even bigger than my husband). I couldn’t have been more wrong and the gentle approach they have to helping you learn how to do this and also supporting both you and your spouse/partner is like nothing else out there and so, so helpful and important to my overall success in being cured from vaginismus. Also, by practicing using the dilators (again, of all sizes) together with your partner, it may sound funny, but it brings you so much closer and builds trust. For my husband, this was the first time he was able to see something inside of me pain-free and he was in shock and just so happy that I wasn’t wincing in pain or saying – ow, ow, ow. For me, by allowing him to be present and even help remove and reinsert the dilators, it helped me to trust him so much more and also associate him with good and positive feelings and not pain. Then, I also mentioned that there is such an important emotional component of Dr. Pacik’s treatment program. On Day 2, there is comprehensive counseling about so many aspects of vaginismus, including its impact on relationships, ways to develop both your romantic and also intimate relationship for either the first time or again, how to support and grow with each other, and just so many more topics. Additionally, and something that is lacking in other treatment programs out there, there is comprehensive follow-up in which you have to stick to a daily dilation schedule and report your dilation, pain, and anxiety in a daily log to Dr. Pacik and the staff. This component, again, is crucial to succeeding and truly curing vaginismus as it keeps you accountable for your own progress and is also incredibly supportive. I would urge you to contact Dr. Pacik’s office to discuss treatment options (1-603-669-0290 or 1-800-640-0290).

Also Sarah, Dr. Pacik offers internet only counseling in select cases. In those cases, there have been several, several positive posts and one of the ladies progressed to the point that she was able to become pregnant. Amazing and such wonderful success stories!!! Here are a couple of posts that describe “internet-only” counseling and treatment:

http://www.vaginismusmd.com/vaginismus-md-forum/?mingleforumaction=viewtopic&t=27
and
http://www.vaginismusmd.com/vaginismus-md-forum/?mingleforumaction=viewtopic&t=20.2

In an excerpt from the second post, the patient writes:
“I was only able to tolerate intercourse if I completely numbed the internal vaginal muscles with Lidocaine….As the years went by and the pain was still as intense, I became more and more discouraged that I would never be able to have pain free intercourse again. Thankfully, I have not given up and that thin thread of determination lead me to Dr. Pacik. I knew from the moment I saw his website and started reading all the posted information that I had finally found the right person to help me. Dr. Pacik’s knowledge of vaginismus and all the emotional baggage that accompanies it is truly amazing. I was so impressed by his level of personal communication as soon as I contacted his office. Through phone calls, Skype conversations and emails, we agreed upon a course of treatment. I was not able to fly to N.H. to have the Botox treatment, so we committed to a long distance treatment relationship that focused on dilation only. I knew in my heart that I would have success with the dilators and Dr. Pacik believed in me 100%. While I was waiting to receive the “Pure Romance” dilators he recommended, Dr. Pacik suggested I read his book and other publications on vaginismus, which were extremely informative and liberating. Knowledge is power! Once I received the dilators, Dr. Pacik instructed me on how to begin and asked me to email him daily about my progress. I started out with dilating in the morning and evening using the smaller dilators. I slept with a dilator inserted every other night. Dr. Pacik was very supportive and helped me not get discouraged when I would feel any burning sensations after dilations. I am 8 months into my dilation treatment with Dr. Pacik and I have progressed up to using the largest 2 dilators without pain. With proper dilation beforehand, I have even achieved pain free intercourse a few times! I know daily dilation will be in my future for awhile since like all muscles, the vaginal wall muscles need to be stretched so they can stay flexible. I truly cannot express my gratitude to Dr. Pacik and all the wonderful people who work with him. I whole-heartedly recommend working with Dr. Pacik in whatever capacity can be arranged.”

Finally, I would HIGHLY recommend purchasing the pure romance silicone dilators and/or the glass dilators as they are so, so much more comfortable than the hard white plastic ones from vag.com. Also, you mentioned anxiety about sleeping with them. There is a handle on both the silicone as well as glass ones that is lacking on the hard vag.com ones. This allows you to more easily insert and remove them and also assures that you will always be able to remove the dilators after sleeping with them. I am so happy you joined the forum and I look forward to reading more of your posts.

[sarah]

Thank you heather…

Your post was soo lovely and just what i need at such a time…… And u know what i have today purchased thr glass and silicone dilators….. I am determined to resolve this and really see this as my mission for 2013!

Iv made lots of resolutions and this was the first but i am soo glad i have such lovely people to turn to at a much needed time.

My husband is a darling but i cant see him help insert th dilators although i agree this would really help with the trust issue.

I will however persist myself and see how comfortable it is.

I can currently insert 4 plastic vag ones with minimal pain but i have to do this in one motion as opposed to fast or thrusting type movements.

Were you able to insert the plastic ones prior to treatment with dr pacik .?

Il hopefully keep posting once iv set a timetable of my exact dilation programme.

I hope th rest of the girls are also doing well.

Cofee i have been following your posts and woukd
Love to know how you are …. Good luck

🙂 🙂

[Heather34]

Hi Sarah. This is wonderful that you purchased the glass and silicone dilators. I can’t stress enough how different they are than the hard plastic white ones. As you can now see, they are colored and have handles as well. I’d love to hear how you view them in comparison with each other and also in comparison with the hard, white dilators? Concerning the pure romance dilators, there are so many positive things to say. First of all, I found the silicone material to be far less intimidating than the hard plastic material of the other ones. I also liked the various colors. I further really liked how they have handles which makes insertion and removal so much easier. Concerning the glass ones, I have also found these to be so, so comfortable. They are shorter in size which makes it easier to walk and do errands with and, again, I love the fact they have the handles.

You also wrote regarding your husband helping with the dilators. Dr. Pacik has a special way of incorporating your husband into every aspect of his treatment. For me, this was the first time that I realized how important it was to involve my own husband as I had viewed it my own problem to resolve. By involving my hubby with the dilating (i.e. watching me do it, putting his hand over mine while dilating, and helping to insert and remove the dilators), I developed a tremendous amount of trust with him and it was very important for him as he could see that something was able to be inserted for the first time pain-free, a vast difference from the past.

You also asked if I was able to insert dilators pre-treatment. I was never able to insert any dilator prior to my procedure. In fact, I wasn’t even able to insert a q-tip without excruciating pain and a feeling like I was completely blocked. If I could’ve willed myself to do this, I would’ve but it was simply impossible for me prior to Dr. Pacik’s treatment. Following the procedure, my hubby and I were able to have pain-free intercourse for the first time ever within 1 week. I am now well over a year post-procedure and am still pinching myself and thanking God that I had it and am now cured from this condition.

I’d like to share one post with you from arose, who traveled over from the UK to have the procedure. This “great wall” that she describes is exactly the way I felt while I had vaginismus and now no longer do (again, thank God).

From arose (7/23/12):
“Whilst we have not transitioned to intercourse yet and I am still working with the dilators, this is such a success story for me that I just had to post it! I tried working with dilators for four or five years before my treatment with Dr Pacik this month. Whilst I made some progress with it (at one stage I was able to get up to the largest one), the progress was not adequate or sustainable because (as so many of you are familiar with), my muscles put up such a hard brick wall insertion was either impossible, or took me hours to achieve! And of course, intercourse with my husband has always been impossible. Even after the treatment, I was still battling to get the dilators past the wall… when I first got back home after our trip, I panicked that the botox was not going to work on me because I was still experiencing this problem as before, but over the following week, whilst it was still there, it because more easily crossable, and whilst there was some discomfort, the pain was only with the insertion, slight and very bearable. Last night, however, I found for the first time ever that the wall was not there!! I was able to easily insert the dilator without having to battle with this, and it went smoothly in. This was just with the small purple one, but a massive achievement and gave me so much hope. I’ve tried again this morning with the pink (going straight from the purple which I slept with), and the same was the case, and with zero pain! I will try the blue shortly, but as this ‘d-routine’ is such a roller coaster ride with so many ups and downs, I wanted to savour and share this progress whilst still on a high. I’m sure I will have more difficult days, but this has given me real hope that intercourse will soon be achievable!! Good luck to all you ladies who are somewhere on this journey… even if at present you still think it is impossible, with perseverance, and with the help of Dr P and his team, you will make progress!”

[coffee]

I have a question.? I just started dilating myself a week ago, up until this point my husband has been dilating me. So last two nights I have been sleeping with number five. I have not tried intercourse yet. So I wanted to try the exercise everyone suggested about having my husband lay between my legs with no penetration to help calm my nerves. Would it be alright to rest tonight after the exercise or dilate. We have meeting tonight so we will be getting home kinda late. Up until this point we have been dilating every night except when on my cycles. Any suggestions? I haven’t tried six yet myself yet. But my husband has been able to insert it.

[coffee]

Since sept 18 I have dilated every day except cycle time.

[sarah]

I was hoping somebody could help me. I am based in the uk and i went fkr an exam last week and the doc confirmed i have vaginismus…. I am booked into have botox under a GA but he has said that i am not to dilate for 2 weeks after the procedure as he does not want the botox to spread to other areas after 2 weeks i am to start dilating… I can see that all you girls dilate immediately post procedure.

I was wondering if somebody could help. Im quite stressed to be honest. I have been dilating myself with the plastic dilators from vag.com but when i went for the exam the doc couldnt even enter a q-tip as i was tense…

Iv ordered th glass and am hoping that when i begin to use them overnight that will helpً

Any help advice would be greatly appreciated

[Dr. Pacik]

When a woman has a general anesthetic this is an optimal time to start the dilation process and have her wake up with a dilator. This is both safe and provides for a major turning point knowing that a large dilator fits in. Usually one of the larger dilators is easy to insert under anesthesia when everything is relaxed. This does not cause the Botox to spread to unwanted areas as noted in over 200 patients who have had this approach.
It is important that the Botox is injected only along the sides of the vagina, not under the urethra or near the anus to prevent incontinence.
Good luck with your procedure. Let us know how you are doing.

[sarah]

Hi

Thankyou for your response.

I just wanted to ask Whether anybody else has experienced the same problem ie to be fine at dilators themselves and them to not b able to tolerate a q tip when going for an exam?

Thankyou

[sarah]

Also cofee i was looking for more posts from you. How are you hope your doimg well xxx

[Heather34]

Hi Sarah. I was entirely unable to complete an ob/gyn exam prior to receiving this treatment. Post-procedure, I always dilate in advance of the exam and it helps so, so much. For my very first exam post-procedure, I actually wore the largest pure romance dilator (big blue) to the exam and asked the doctor to remove it herself and then insert the speculum. It worked so well to make me physically stretched out and to also calm my nerves. I think it’s great that you ordered the new glass dilators and I know you will find that they are so much more comfortable than the plastic vag.com ones and they also have handles which makes them easier to insert, remove, and re-insert. Hope this helps and can’t wait to read more of your posts. Coffee, I too hope you are doing great and can’t wait to read more of your posts as well. We are all here for you both!!!

[coffee]

Hello Sarah. I took a break sun night and mon night from dilating. Been very sore. I am not doing great. Haven’t been posting lately because don’t wanna discouraged anyone else. All I can say is I am struggling horrible. Anexiety consumes me. Going to primary care doc in morn.

[coffee]

I am happy for everyone having success.