[tigerkitty]

Huge congratulations on your success, Allie! It gives me hope that one day soon I might be able to achieve the same intimacy with my partner. Reward yourself for your success this Christmas and make sure your husband pampers and spoils you! You’ve done amazingly. 🙂

[tigerkitty]

Thank you, Allie! That’s made me feel a lot better about trying it. 🙂

[tigerkitty]

Oh wow, I wasn’t aware of that. That definitely sounds like something I would benefit from. I know myself too well and know that if left to my own devices I’ll skip days and become an infrequent dilator over time. Thank you for the information! 🙂

[tigerkitty]

My partner and I have has similar issues in this regard. Whenever we’ve attempted intercourse I’ve always needed that level of control over the situation, otherwise I worry he might do it wrong and hurt me. It’s silly because unlike me, he has had a sexual relationship before so he does know what he’s doing, but I still worry that he’s poking the wrong hole, or entering at the wrong angle or not taking my feelings into consideration, which makes it hard for us both to continue to feel in the right mood and he gets frustrated.

I’m hoping I can take Heather’s advice posted above and develop that level of trust with my partner so that I can let some of that control go for the next time we try. Trying the different positions is something that definitely scares me. Something in my head just tells me that it might feel different or hurt more if we try doing it differently.

[tigerkitty]

I’ve started dilating with the vaginismus.com dilators and absolutely feel the same way – just looking at the largest size makes me squeamish and hopeless about ever reaching that point. How on earth can something that large fit inside me, never mind how much it will probably hurt me?! I’m still learning to cope mentally with using the dilators, but physically I’ve managed to insert the second size with some discomfort. I can only hope I continue to be successful. As long as you do your best to harness your emotions and calm yourself down when you begin the dilating process each day, eventually your anxiety levels drop and things become a little easier.

[tigerkitty]

I haven’t had the Botox precedure done but I absolutely agree that the procedure alone, in most cases, wouldn’t be enough to cure the issue of vaginismus. You still wouldn’t be used to the feel of something inside of you, as I imagine most patients have never managed to penetrate before so the feeling would be entirely new and strange to them, causing anxiety in itself. Then there is the doubt – what if it didn’t work for you? What if it still will hurt? If you don’t have that moment of waking up and knowing you have something so large inside of you without pain, I imagine it would be hard to rid your mind of that doubt, at least in the beginning. So much of the condition is to do with fear and anxiety at the perceived pain and discomfort you will feel that curing the physical side of it only just won’t be enough. Having that dilator inside of you pain free when you first awake gives you that kick-start you need to gain the confidence at seeing the treatment through.

[tigerkitty]

Wow, congratulations. I couldn’t ever imagine having a pap smear or having my partner insert his finger at this point – I can only hope to achieve that one day! Well done on taking such a huge step in your recovery. 🙂

May I ask how the kegels helped during your pap smear? Do they help take away the discomfort? I do them sometimes but I’m still rather shaky on how exactly they help.

[tigerkitty]

Thank you hugely for your reply, Heather. I appreciate your time. I’ve looked at a little of the information on the website about the procedure and I guess I’m on the fence about it simply because I am actually able to get things inside of me, uncomfortable as it may be, so perhaps that means that the spasms aren’t such a big problem for me? It may become more of an issue when I increase to the larger sized dilators but for the smaller ones it seems to be not much of a problem once I manage to calm myself down, so I’m unsure if the botox treatment is necessary for me at this point. Another problem is I live in the United Kingdom and don’t have the finances needed for a visit or to purchase treatment. 🙁

I definitely believe I need emotional support with this, though. As soon as I start the dilating in the evenings my thoughts are just all over the place. It feels wrong and so so invasive it makes me want to run away and just never have sex, ever. It really feels as though I will never get used to the feeling of something being in that part of me. I’m sure these thoughts are all normal for people who go through this though. >_<

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