New & anxious.
December 12, 2012 at 7:01 pm #8759
Oh wow, I wasn’t aware of that. That definitely sounds like something I would benefit from. I know myself too well and know that if left to my own devices I’ll skip days and become an infrequent dilator over time. Thank you for the information! 🙂December 12, 2012 at 10:38 pm #10862Heather34Moderator
Hi tigerkitty. Welcome to the Forum and thank you for your post. I am so sorry to hear of your struggles with vaginismus and I am so, so happy you have found Dr. Pacik’s website and this forum. I, too, struggled with vaginismus for several years and the majority of my relationship and marriage prior to finding Dr. Pacik’s treatment. I tried several other treatments prior, including using dilators on my own, PT, biofeedback, etc. and nothing worked to cure my vaginismus. For me personally, Dr. Pacik’s treatment was the cure that my husband and I had searched for so long for as it combined both physical as well as emotional treatment for vaginismus. I had the 10-20 minute Botox procedure under anesthesia and then woke up with the largest silicone blue dilator inside of me (pure romance dilator set). This was a turning point for me as I realized for the first time that something of this size was inside of me entirely pain free and it gave me such increased confidence. Thereafter, you are assisted and taught how to insert, remove, and re-insert all of the sized dilators. This, too, was such an important aspect of the program. Prior to the procedure, I was so nervous that I would not be successful with this part of the program and would never be able to do what they were asking of me (i.e. inserting and removing these foreign objects of all sizes … even bigger than my husband). I couldn’t have been more wrong and the gentle approach they have to helping you learn how to do this and also supporting both you and your spouse/partner is like nothing else out there and so, so helpful and important to my overall success in being cured from vaginismus. Also, by practicing using the dilators (again, of all sizes) together with your partner, it may sound funny, but it brings you so much closer and builds trust. For my husband, this was the first time he was able to see something inside of me pain-free and he was in shock and just so happy that I wasn’t wincing in pain or saying – ow, ow, ow. For me, by allowing him to be present and even help remove and reinsert the dilators, it helped me to trust him so much more and also associate him with good and positive feelings and not pain. Then, I also mentioned that there is such an important emotional component of Dr. Pacik’s treatment program. On Day 2, there is comprehensive counseling about so many aspects of vaginismus, including its impact on relationships, ways to develop both your romantic and also intimate relationship for either the first time or again, how to support and grow with each other, and just so many more topics. Additionally, and something that is lacking in other treatment programs out there, there is comprehensive follow-up in which you have to stick to a daily dilation schedule and report your dilation, pain, and anxiety in a daily log to Dr. Pacik and the staff. This component, again, is crucial to succeeding and truly curing vaginismus as it keeps you accountable for your own progress and is also incredibly supportive. I would urge you to contact Dr. Pacik’s office to discuss treatment options (1-603-669-0290 or 1-800-640-0290).December 13, 2012 at 10:56 am #10797
Thank you hugely for your reply, Heather. I appreciate your time. I’ve looked at a little of the information on the website about the procedure and I guess I’m on the fence about it simply because I am actually able to get things inside of me, uncomfortable as it may be, so perhaps that means that the spasms aren’t such a big problem for me? It may become more of an issue when I increase to the larger sized dilators but for the smaller ones it seems to be not much of a problem once I manage to calm myself down, so I’m unsure if the botox treatment is necessary for me at this point. Another problem is I live in the United Kingdom and don’t have the finances needed for a visit or to purchase treatment. 🙁
I definitely believe I need emotional support with this, though. As soon as I start the dilating in the evenings my thoughts are just all over the place. It feels wrong and so so invasive it makes me want to run away and just never have sex, ever. It really feels as though I will never get used to the feeling of something being in that part of me. I’m sure these thoughts are all normal for people who go through this though. >_<December 13, 2012 at 4:18 pm #10794Heather34Moderator
Hi tigerkitty. In my last post to you, I forgot to mention that Dr. Pacik also offers internet only counseling in select cases. In those cases, there have been several, several positive posts and one of the ladies progressed to the point that she was able to become pregnant. Amazing and such wonderful success stories!!! Here are a couple of posts that describe “internet-only” counseling and treatment:
In an excerpt from the second post, the patient writes:
“I was only able to tolerate intercourse if I completely numbed the internal vaginal muscles with Lidocaine….As the years went by and the pain was still as intense, I became more and more discouraged that I would never be able to have pain free intercourse again. Thankfully, I have not given up and that thin thread of determination lead me to Dr. Pacik. I knew from the moment I saw his website and started reading all the posted information that I had finally found the right person to help me. Dr. Pacik’s knowledge of vaginismus and all the emotional baggage that accompanies it is truly amazing. I was so impressed by his level of personal communication as soon as I contacted his office. Through phone calls, Skype conversations and emails, we agreed upon a course of treatment. I was not able to fly to N.H. to have the Botox treatment, so we committed to a long distance treatment relationship that focused on dilation only. I knew in my heart that I would have success with the dilators and Dr. Pacik believed in me 100%. While I was waiting to receive the “Pure Romance” dilators he recommended, Dr. Pacik suggested I read his book and other publications on vaginismus, which were extremely informative and liberating. Knowledge is power! Once I received the dilators, Dr. Pacik instructed me on how to begin and asked me to email him daily about my progress. I started out with dilating in the morning and evening using the smaller dilators. I slept with a dilator inserted every other night. Dr. Pacik was very supportive and helped me not get discouraged when I would feel any burning sensations after dilations. I am 8 months into my dilation treatment with Dr. Pacik and I have progressed up to using the largest 2 dilators without pain. With proper dilation beforehand, I have even achieved pain free intercourse a few times! I know daily dilation will be in my future for awhile since like all muscles, the vaginal wall muscles need to be stretched so they can stay flexible. I truly cannot express my gratitude to Dr. Pacik and all the wonderful people who work with him. I whole-heartedly recommend working with Dr. Pacik in whatever capacity can be arranged.”December 13, 2012 at 7:33 pm #10738
Oh wow, I wasn’t aware of that. That definitely sounds like something I would benefit from. I know myself too well and know that if left to my own devices I’ll skip days and become an infrequent dilator over time. Thank you for the information! 🙂
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