September 14, 2017 at 4:32 pm #21843HopeParticipant
I have been dilating prior to sex , this always gave me more confidence but just realized that I m pregnant now.
although it’s a good news but just wanted to ask that can I still continue with half an hour dilation with any lube prior to sex? Or this could be dangerous.
Grateful for all advices which brought me up to this stage.September 15, 2017 at 9:47 am #21845Aimee Goldman, RWHNPMember
Hi Twinkle-Congratulations on your pregnancy-such an exciting time for you.
As far as dilation- we generally tell our patients not to dilate during pregnancy. Of course you can run this by your obstetrician to confirm. Again, much luck on this new chapter in your life!October 4, 2017 at 11:30 pm #21924
Congratulations on your pregnancy, Twinkle! You must be very excited 🙂October 5, 2017 at 4:34 pm #21942Sks823Participant
CONGRATS, Twinkle! <3 That’s amazing news!November 15, 2017 at 8:30 pm #22088Heather34Moderator
Hi Twinkle. Huge, huge, huge, huge CONGRATS on your pregnancy. I have absolutely loved reading your posts. You are such an inspiration and I am so, so, so, so happy and excited for you!!!!!! Please write back when you read this and know we are all thinking of you!!!!November 16, 2017 at 2:06 pm #22094Nicole Tammelleo, MA, LCSWParticipant
Just echoing Heather in congratulations, and wishing you all the best! Thanks again for sharing your story with everyone, it has really helped so many women address and overcome vaginismus.November 20, 2017 at 11:25 am #22103
Hi! Í need some help. I can go from the 4th dilator to the 5th. I found the first four relatively easy. But my vagina doesnt seem yo relax for this one, despite í dont see ir that big counciously.. what do hoy recomend?
Thanks!!!November 20, 2017 at 8:37 pm #22107Heather34Moderator
Hi Vic. First, I want to congratulate you so much on dilating. You are doing so, so, so well. This is a very good question about tips to move up a dilator size. A couple of things that really helped me to move up a size was to dilate with the size below for a considerable amount of time before trying to insert the next size up. I found that I was much more stretched from this and it made it easier and less uncomfortable to go in. Another thing that I found helpful was moving the fourth sized dilator from side to side and in and out for a while prior to trying to move up to number 5. I felt like this, too, helped me to be more stretched and I had an easier time inserting #5.
In prior threads, Melissa from Maze has written:
“I would move the fourth dilator around, side to side, and in and out. The more you can move the fourth dilator around, you will stretch the introitus, and further manipulate the muscles, and make more room for the fifth dilator.”
I hope this helps and huge congrats on your dilating progress!!!!November 20, 2017 at 8:44 pm #22108
Thank hoy Heather for your response!! Ill try the next time.
BestssNovember 21, 2017 at 10:13 am #22117Sks823Participant
YES, I agree with what Heather said about (a) dilating with the size below for a while before, and (b) moving the previous dilator side to side. Both of these helped me a lot when I was getting through dilating. And I also want to give some encouragement – you’ve done an amazing job so far and should be very proud of yourself.
I’m not an expert or anything close to one, but I like to think about moving up in dilator sizes as lifting free weights – it may be easier for you to be able to switch from lifting 5 lb weights to 10 lb weights, but it may be more difficult/take more time to go from lifting 10 lb weights to 15 lb weights.
While the transition may take a little more time, it’ll happen 🙂 good luck!!December 11, 2018 at 3:56 pm #24052
hellooooo! I wanted to tell you guys, I was able to have sex finally!!! after almost 6 years being in and out of therapy, and in and out of dilatation training because of heavy frustations.
It was super easy, I was surprised. I am still not able to come with a partner, I can only come by touching myself when I’m alone, but that’s part of getting to know myself having sex.
Well, I wanted to thank you all guys, this forum have been really helpful, you are so supportive and caring. Thank you so much!
I am here if you need anything, and i hope i can help other women as you have heped me.
I’ll be around, reading the forum, and paying attention just in case i can contribute.
Bye!!!!December 11, 2018 at 8:47 pm #24059
Vic, congratulations!!! I’m so proud of you! You worked hard for this and earned every bit of it. It’s funny how easy sex can feel after awhile, after the fact. It gets easier. Your pleasure will likely increase as you get to know your body. Years later the journey is still continuing for me, but I can’t believe how much anxiety and shame it removed from me, so I wish you all the same relief and so much joy in the wake of all you’ve endured. Good luck with everything!December 13, 2018 at 10:52 am #24080Cathleen Kneidl, RPA-CParticipant
That is so awesome, and thank you for sharing! It’s so helpful for people to see that dilators do work and that there is hope! Congratulations!December 22, 2018 at 6:12 pm #24098SuperiorblueParticipant
I’m new to the forum so I realise I may be posting this in the wrong place (whoops sorry ahah); I’ve suffered from vaginal pain after a kidney infection two years ago. I’m able to insert the third smallest dilator absolutely pain free until I move around or move it around and it touches/presses the front wall of my vagina, which causes a lot of pain.
Is the front wall of the vagina a muscle? Or is this a nerve ending problem? The pain occurs whenever it is pressed and doesn’t seem to get better despite me being able to increase the size of the dilators.
Any advice? Thanks xDecember 22, 2018 at 7:26 pm #24099
Hi Superiorblue! Welcome to the forums! I’m really sorry to hear about both your kidney infection and your vaginismus – I can speak at least for the latter and say I know how much it sucks. I wish I knew more about the specific kind of pain you’re describing, but the fact that it sounds separate from run-of-the-mill stretching pain suggests that it’s not just a dilation or vaginismus problem. Once people start successfully dilating, the feeling they primarily describe is “discomfort” – it’s a weird and unpleasant sensation, and there’s also the burning feeling that signifies the stretching of the muscles. But a stabbing pain isn’t usually par for the course, and based on what you’ve said I’d recommend getting that checked out by a gynecologist in case it’s anything related to your previous infection or some kind of other medical issue.
Congrats, though, on getting to the third dilator! It’s a major accomplishment. Stick with them once you get this pain issue sorted out!
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