dilation routine

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    Thank you so much for your reply! I can’t tell you how good it feels to find a place where people are talking freely about this issue.

    I intend to go to my doctor with a list of all possible conditions and force her to test me for all of them. It’s awkward because referrals take so long (I live in the UK and god bless our NHS but effective treatment for these types of problems isn’t as readily available as it should be) and I’ve been so frequently dismissed because of my age (19). I assume it’s vaginismus, but only because my symptoms have worsened in a way that is consistent with the ‘vaginismus cycle’ (having sex that causes slight pain which then reinforces the idea of pain the next time you have sex, and the muscles tighten), but I’m trying to keep an open mind.

    I want to pretty much post everything on here. If I’m able to eventually get sorted, nothing would make me happier than being able to post a success story on here, even if it only helps one other person- that would mean the absolute world. 🙂


    What you are describing does not sound like typical vaginismus pain. I would definitely recommend an evaluation with your gyn provider just to make sure nothing else is going on.


    I’m glad you’re going to get yourself looked at! The NHS seems very frustrating, but given what Cathleen says, it’s very important to know what’s actually going on so you can take the right steps.

    Please do let us know how it all goes! We have faith in you.


    Hey Superiorblue, just wanted to echo recessivegenequeen’s support and Cathleen’s advice too! I am very impressed at how proactive you are about this issue – your age and your knowledge about vaginismus & about your personal issue is very impressive. I think that your determination to fix your problem and your pro-activity to find out more will definitely help you get through this!

    I agree that it’s great that this forum is out there and a GREAT way to get advice, support, etc.! Good luck with NHS and keep us updated when you get your appointment!


    Ihave been dilating for over four weeks since my post botox follow up appointment now and I have moved onto dilator 4 out of 5 dilator sizes. I can insert it but it is sore as was the number three even when I decided to change to number 4. My provider said after 2 weeks I could try intercourse which is not what is happening. Shoud I continue to feel discomfort and soreness. I am at a loss as it is clear my provider is not going to give me further guidance and advice. I cannot imagine attempting intercourse. I am feeling really low indeed as I just do not know what is happening is normal or not


    Hello Hatuey! First of all congratulations!!!
    I overcame vaginismus but without botox, only dilating. I dont know if botox adds any negative variable to the ecuation, I am hoping not since there are doctors here recommending the practice. For me it was longer than 2 weeks to insert all the dilators, almost a year. But this depends on the anxiety that one have. From my experience, what I can tell you is that, given that pain is (at least in me) what triggered the penetration “fobia” and involuntary contractions, try not to move to the next dilator if it still sores. Move the N°3 around in circles, up and down, in and out, contract and relax, leave it inside you longer (I had N°4 of 6 about an hour inside me, for I couldnt move to 5, and eventually I could). And only when it stopped soring, try with the next one. You will definitely overcome this shit, I now how helpless you must feel and ancious to beat vag., and you will, it just takes some time, pur head is more stubborn than we imagine.


    hi. I have been dilating for just over 3 weeks. I have had botox but still feel soreness during dilating. My routine is dilating every night moving the dilator 20 times. Is this enough. Should I be following another routine. How much soreness is acceptable


    Hatuey – your provider shouldn’t be promising you a particular timeline for having sex. Probably some of the women they’ve treated were able to have sex within two weeks, but everyone’s experience of vaginismus is very different and the most important thing is just to make steady progress and get increasingly comfortable, whatever that timeline looks like. The soreness will continue for awhile even as you’re able to use larger and larger dilators – your body is getting used to this sensation for the first time in its life, which is a huge change. I know how hard it is, but try NOT to think of treating your vaginismus as a race where the first time you have intercourse is a finish line. Even once you succeed with penetration, there will be new things to learn and get comfortable with, so it’s so much more important just to be proud of yourself for working on this day by day and seeing new improvements one step at a time. This is how you’ll eventually get to where you want to go, and it’s the only way.

    Wolsey – this is a good routine to get you comfortable with a dilator. If you are able to take out and put in a dilator that many times, I recommend trying to move up to the next size even if it’s sore just to see how it goes. Soreness at smaller sizes goes away largely because of you moving to bigger sizes!

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