How long is too long: the average time for intercourse.

Okay ladies (and the men who may be looking over their shoulder.) The average time for intercourse is 3-5 minutes. So if your partner is thrusting inside of you for 25 minutes and your vagina hurts or gets sore, there is nothing wrong with your vagina. There is something wrong with your timing! Now…lets respond to all the possible women’s reactions:

“But I LIKE intercourse for 30 minutes” Great!! You’re just not average. If you and your partner enjoy prolonged intercourse and you’re not having pain afterwards — go for it! Have fun.

“But he needs 25-30 minutes to ejaculate.” — Try exploring other stimulations for 15-20 minutes. Rubbing against your body, using your hands, using your mouth, him using his hands are all good possibilities. Then when he comes inside of you he may only need 5 minutes or so.

“He really needs 40 minutes inside of me to ejaculate.” This is where I think you need to bring in a male sexual dysfunction specialist to have him evaluated.

Bottom line. Don’t always blame your vagina!!

Picture of Bat Sheva Marcus, LMSW, MPH, PhD

Bat Sheva Marcus, LMSW, MPH, PhD

Dr. Bat Sheva Marcus is a certified sex therapist and the Clinical Director of Maze Women’s Sexual Health, one of the largest centers for women’s sexual health in the country. Dr. Marcus wrote her dissertation on women and vibrator use while earning her Doctor of Philosophy in human sexuality from the Institute of Advanced Study of Human Sexuality. She also has a Master’s in public health from the same institution. She is a licensed social worker with a Master’s degree from Columbia University. Dr. Marcus has worked as the executive director of not-for-profit institutions and corporations, medical practices and laboratories. In addition to being featured in a NY Times article, she is a frequent guest on radio, podcasts and has lectured both nationally and overseas on a wide variety of women's issues.
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A safe and comfortable place to discuss vaginismus

The vaginismus forum at Maze Women’s Health is designed to bring women together. We understand that painful sex, vaginismus treatment, and the subsequent recovery can be sensitive topics, and you should have a safe and comfortable place to voice your experience, opinions, and concerns.

We envision this vaginismus forum as a place for you to introduce yourself, share your personal story, ask questions, and discuss any and all aspects of vaginismus, including our treatment options. We sincerely hope that you find this to be a comfortable place to discuss your struggles and triumphs as you navigate through vaginismus treatment. Talking through these issues with women that have gone through it can make all the difference.

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