[Tony]

We asked her gyno to do the test. They basically refused to do it. And told us to call Vaginismus doctor in Iowa city. That was after give excuses like we don’t work with botox injections and this is a special case. And we didnt find any recommendations in the paperwork to do the test. I asked did you call Dr. Pack and ask him? They said no. But at this time we don’t feel we should do the test. Call iowa city. I said so your refusing to do the test. They said well no you just need to talk to your doctor in iowa city. So we are getting the same old b.s. run around. We still hafta call iowa city. Dr. Ugena. They said the test was a surgery. I said maybe I don’t understand the test then cuz don’t you just use a camera to find distinguishing marks to diagnose endometriosis. I don’t understand why we can just treat her for it and put her on birth control to see if the symptoms go away. But I am not a doctor. I am frustrated. My next day off we will try to call iowa city…. now after pondering it for a bit. I ask myself why would they refuse the test? Will it hurt her? Will there be recovery period? Will it set back her progress with dilating? Is it because the are scared to be involved with this botox procedure. Why are they so ruluctant to address vaginal pain? Here is a link I found to answer some of these questions.
http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/endometriosis/basics/definition/con-20013968
Seems like a long process to get to hysterectomy. nothing else seem to gaurentee it not to come back. Considering that this test is invasive we will wait till this proceedure is complete. Maybe the pain will go away on its own. So the plan for now is to keep dilating take Advil for abdominal pain get to intercourse. Then decide from there if other things need done. I will keep you posted.

[Tony]

Dr. Pacik you mentioned that Christines spasms are unrelated to her vaginismus. I was googling menstral cramps and I found this in the article. It matches her symptoms. She has described. Cramps/spasms/contractions which ever it is. In her stomach and her legs and back have pain. Deep penitration hurts. So I will copy and paste for you. Maybe we should get her checked for this. Cause it could have caused vaginismus.

Possible Culprit: ENDOMETRIOSISEndometriosis is a condition without a clear cause. Tissue that normally lines the uterus migrates outside it and begins growing on other organs nearby, says Dr. Brill. It affects up to 15 percent of reproductive-age women and takes an average of 10 years to diagnose after symptoms start. It’s hard to diagnose partly because so many chicks think it’s just severe menstrual cramps…so they don’t see their gyno for tests.Endometriosis typically brings on killer pain in the lower abdomen — and sometimes in the back and thighs — that often can’t be alleviated by OTC meds. This pain can pop up any time of the month. A heavy flow can also be a sign, as can painful sex. “It’ll feel like you have cramps during intercourse because your guy’s penis rubs the tissue growing outside the uterus,” says Dr. Minkin.Any of this sound familiar? Then make an appointment with your gyno. If she diagnoses you with endometriosis, birth-control pills or other hormones can slow the growth of the renegade tissue. In severe cases, surgery may be needed to reduce the amount of tissue that’s built up outside the uterus.

Idk how to test for this I need to study it more. I wonder if just treating it with birth control, would help. Since the cramps are unrelated vaginismus and since they happen outside of her cycle. I think its worth a look. Tony

P.S. I also think that birth control might help her with her severely sensitive breast. She also often describes penitration as” It feels like yiur hitting my organs.”

[Tony]

Sorry for the delay in my response my phone don’t do a good job alerting me of email. I hope christine will take the advise and create her own user name. I hate to say it but I do want her to take the lead on this. I want her to study and analyze this. I can’t get her motivated to read about her condition. I do feel like her counselor. It is affecting me. But she does have a strong desire to be normal again. So I feel like if she won’t do it then I have to. I pick up where she drops off. I do need her to reach out fir help on her own. I can’t be everything. There is to much confict. Counselor, husband, friend, lover, provider, caretaker. I can’t counsel her she don’t trust me. I can’t touch he cuz she is scared I will accidentally hurt her. I can’t be her lover cuz she freezes up. I can be her husband and her friend. But you are right. I have taken on to many roles. I have red books out loud to her. Assisted in many dilations. I am nearing the part of the cycle where i pull back. Where I need a break. Where I just wish she would step up to the plateand persue the answers herself. I love her with all my heart. She needs some support and advice and help from someone other then me. I really hope she finds the courage to post on her own. I will make an user name in her email for her so she can.

[Tony]

Thank you for taking the time to put that together. I am at work reading at the moment. I will be reading this to christine as soon as I get home.

I can tell you that christine is having some emotional ups and downs. She is in such a hurry. She tells me “I just want to be normal” she is pushing herself hard. I have been encouraging her to slow down a little. She wants so bad to race through this process that she holds the diolators in to long, and it hurts for a few hours after. She gets cramps in her stomach and spasms that make her buckle a little and moan in pain. She takes pain meds to counter.

I have been encouraging her to take only five minute changes. Right now she is doing the 4 for 15min then 5 for 30 mins then 6 for 15mins. We have made a schedule for her to help slow her down from taking big jumps in times. Like she will get motivated and try the 6 for a half an hour. And thenthen suffer that day and hafta skip a session. So I got on excel and made a plan for her that will help her progress steadly but not get in a big hurry. Next week she will be doing 4 for 10mins then 5 for 35mins then 6 for 15 mins. Then the week after that. 4 for 5mins 5 for 40mins 6 for 15. By my calculations she would be doing. The 7 and 8 by day 111 post procedure. This is assuming that she is able to keep up with this progression. But most importantly slows her down so she won’t over do it.

She always dilates at around 6 am and then again at 6pm then the 4 overnight, every other night. She woke up yesterday at 6am and the 4 was unconfortable. She was hurting. She removed it and waited a bit to do her morning dilation. But then at 9pm asks me if I think she should try sleeping with the 5 soon. I said no. Not till you get to the 7. She said why? I think it could be sooner then that. I said Cuz dr. P said that the 4 is all that is nessessary. But also said that most women usually dilate up to the six. this illustratEd how big of a hurry she is in. I do think that since her goal is the number 8 that she will probably need to sleep with the 5 at some point.

I would also love to hear from others as heather said in her post. Thanks in advance for any comment you wish to share.

[Tony]

I think christine needs to keep in mind that its only 18 days post proceedure and from the looks of her day 18 entry I think she is progressing very well. Dr. Pacik tells her each time that we send an update that she is doing very well. But she still feels like she is not doing well. I know this is probably ackward for you ladys to basically talk through me. But just know that I am reading this to her. I can’t explain why she won’t do this part herself because I don’t know. I cant get her to read books about it either. But I can read and explain things to her. Thanks Tony.

[Tony]

I figured out how to copy and paste from my phone. It glitchy but it worked.

Heathers response

I felt so, so much of this in the beginning. I promise u this. I think u will feel much less tight the more that time passes. This will help the pain to decrease
too. Its like a work-out at gym now. In the beginning, its always so fluctuating. One day muscle aches; the next day adrenaline from workout. I seriously felt so, so, so like this in the beginning. Its a whirlwind of both physical as well as emotional stuff. I promise u that it gets so much better. With the pushing (inserting) of the dilators, it helped me so much to use a ton of the surgi-lube and I always did it in stand-up position.
I promise that u are not wasting your time and will overcome. I seriously felt so, so many emotions post-procedure. And, difft ones on difft days. For example, one day, I would feel confident and close to Tim and the next, I could feel distant and anxious. I can only say that it got so much bttr for me with more time:)

[Tony]

She gave me permission to post her text to Heather.
1) Can you tell me how long it will take before I can sit up, or walk with the smaller glass dilators?

2) how long it will take before I won’t feel so tight with the size 6 and progress to size 7 and 8? (she feels like she has to go further then most women)

3)can you tell me if yelling to another room in the house is making hurt during dilation? Or is it in my head?

4) Can you tell me how I am supposed to relax with my husband touching me and other things if I can’t get him to help me dilate and help me during earlier stages? (in my defense I skipped helping her a couple times cuz she was very tense and pretty mean to me)

5) why do I feel like there’s something pinching inside me and adjusting the dilator don’t help?

6: can you tell me why I am feeling stabbing pains in my upper and lower back? Why my stomach hurts so bad, why my butt and legs clench up or why I feel like a bruise?

7) can you tell me why my body is not dilating on it’s own and sometimes I have to force a dilator through like re piercing an ear over again.?

8) can you tell me why I am still having spasms?

These are her questions. Plz if you could state the number to the question you are addressing. She would really like if all her questions could be addressed. On a side note I couldn’t copy and past her text into this forum. Thanks in advance for any help you can offer her. She will not talk to her friends about this. And I feel like I am not equipped to help her. My Meir touch makes her clench up. IMO she is not ready for me to help. Thanks Tony

[Tony]

Thank you.

[Tony]

is there a way to PM her phone number?

[Tony]

Also I would like to thank you all for your responses. 🙂

[Tony]

I am trying to get her to read Dr. Paciks book. She told me she scrolled to a page that describes the symptoms and started to cry. I explained to her that if she would read from the begining it would be more like a conversation with the doctor. I can’t get her to read the forum yet. But we did talk on the phone with Doctor Pacik. I dud most the talking. She was still confused about where the vestibule is and couldn’t describe her symptoms. I was at the appointments when the diagnosed her with vestibleitus. The q tip test. She has a spasm at about two inches in on the left side. And if that side is touched it tightens both sides. She has been trying to diolate for 6 months so Dr. Pacik recommended botox. I am ok with this even though she seems like a lvl 1 or possible lvl 2. I think if we do the full treatment she will progress much easier and faster. Our appointment is for Dec 16. Its 17 hour drive. I am gonna get fmla. I will try to get her to open up to private emails and let you know heather or maybe even a phone call.

[Author]

Posts