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I think part of the problem is that everyone around us tells us that it’s all in our head. We’re just making stuff up when actually it’s a medical condition. I hope more awareness regarding this can spread in the future

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@Hopefull You are a very strong woman yourself for enduring all this pain and I’m so happy that you got over this! Congratulations! ❤️❤️❤️

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@Vee0706 I’m so happy for you! Congratulations!

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Hi, start with something as small as your fingers and then work your way up. At first, it will feel like this but with time, your muscles will relax.

Maybe you used some cream that is not for internal use or maybe you are allergic to that cream. You could try using Lidocaine 2%. I used that. It does burn at first and sometimes it’s just because of the muscles.

Please let me know if you have any other questions. Good luck

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@Patience
I’m sorry for the late reply.

Thank you. If you’re having intercourse regularly like without big breaks in between, then you don’t need to dilate anymore, but if let’s say for any reason, months go by without, then you have to. Otherwise muscles become tense again.

Please let me know if you have any other questions

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@Hope Hi, I’m sorry to hear that you’re dealing with this difficult situation. I have been in the same place 3 years ago and it felt like I could never get out of it, but I did, and you will too.

What you need to do is to try progressive dilation. Please don’t jump from a 1.5 inch wide dilator to a 3 inch wide dilator. Find an intermediate size like 2 inches or 1.8 inches and when you are able to insert that easily without any pain then go to the next size like 2.2 or 2.5. You have to take small steps. The reason it hurts is because your muscles down there spasm every time you try to insert a dilator wider than 1 inch.

Regarding numbing cream, I used Lidocaine 5%. I’m not sure about the one you mentioned but lidocaine itself didn’t cause any burning but dilation did. On some days it was very painful and burned a lot. But you have to keep going. You’re training your muscles so they will ache and burn. Don’t push yourself too much. Listen to your body and take small steps.

All the best! You will get through this

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@Vee0706 Forgot to add this to the previous reply:

Once you’re able to dilate without pain, then there’s nothing to worry about intercourse. Trust me

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@Vee0706 Please use a dilator that’s less wide than the current size you’re using but wider than the previous one. This way you’ll be able to easily insert the dilator.

I know that during treatment it’s natural to rush. We want to achieve the end goal, but it’s important to take small steps. Listen to your body. If it’s not accepting this dilator, go a size lower.

Once you can comfortably dilate, only then move on to intercourse. If you were able to dilate without pain, then there’s nothing to worry about.

Let me know if you have any further questions. All the best!

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Yeah sure! I don’t think she works at Shifa anymore. She’s got a clinic some where else I think. I’ll share her insta profile https://www.instagram.com/dr.mahnoor.ch.pt?igsh=MWF4NGJqYzQ5cGJndg==

You can contact her there. I’ll also leave her a msg asking about her clinic.

Please let me know if your wife has any other questions. I may not always reply here in case I don’t get notifications so here’s my email strongwomen1702@gmail.com

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Hi ktc515,

For 2 years, I faced the same problems as you described. I can resonate with most of the things you mentioned in your post. I was also a very sexual kind of person but my body betrayed me every time I wanted to have intercourse with my husband. I had excruciating pain and my husband said he felt like there was a wall. I could not understand what was happening to me and lost all hope and then found this forum which gave me back my sexual autonomy in the sense that now I have control over my vagina.

There are experts in the group who can guide you much better than me. As a cured patient of vaginismus who now has normal sexual intercourse, I would definitely recommend dilation for you. You can purchase any set of dilators that you are comfortable with and try working your way up from there. It took me 5 months from the first size dilator to progress to normal pain free intercourse. The pain you feel during vaginismus is because some of the muscles down there are too tight. With progressive dilation, these muscles will gradually become less tighter until they will allow full penetration.

In my case, I had both physical pain and anxiety during any attempts to dilate or have intercourse. I am not sure whether the pain caused anxiety or was it the other way round. However, as you’ll move through dilation, not only will your muscles relax but your anxiety will reduce as well. The key is to never push through it. Listen to your body. Only when it is comfortable with a dilator, move on to the next size. Otherwise, keep on dilating. When you’ll dilate, you’ll feel a little bit of burning down there. That is completely normal as it is your muscles working out.

Vaginismus can definitely be cured and I disagree with the advice your doctor gave you as someone who got cured from it. If you have any other question, you can always post here. Best of luck for your treatment and I hope one day you’ll be able to experience pain-free sexual intercourse like me 🙂

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Thank you 🙂 This forum has been amazing throughout my journey and afterwards as well.

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@lost_and_confused I am sorry for replying so late. You can contact the Shifa International Hospital’s gynecology department. They have physiotherapists over there who can help you with it. The doctor who told me about it is not working at Shifa anymore. I have sent her a message asking about her new hospital. I’ll tell you about it once I get to know.

I would advise do not worry about it and try to find treatment. You can try dilating by yourself or get the help of a doctor as well. I know that this condition is really tough to deal with both physically and mentally but InshaAllah you’ll be able to get through it. 🙂

Stay strong and connected with this forum. If you have any confusion, please reach out. If you need any other help, please email me at Strongwomen1702@gmail.com.

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I used Xyloaid jelly which is Lidocaine 2%, however I think you should first ask your therapist about it, or maybe wait for some moderator or admin in the group to respond. Yeah I first applied lubricant which was petroleum jelly and then I applied this lubricant on top of it. Also, when you insert your dilator, if it is very painful, don’t push it through. Wait for your muscles to relax. Practise deep breathing alongside dilation. It will help you to relax.

If you have any other questions, don’t hesitate to ask. You are always welcome, and this group is actually great. I made it through vaginismus because of this group.

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Hi, I have no idea about how it is in the US, but someone in the group may be able to tell you about it. I get your point about Lidocaine and I actually felt the same when I started using it. I thought how would this make things better, but it does because if I hadn’t used Lidocaine 2% at that time, I would have left dilation at all because it was very painful. I used to apply it on thn the dilator and then insert the dilator. When my muscles became less tight, I wouldn’t feel burning anymore so I didn’t use it after that. I used it for about 1 month maybe and I was also worried about any side-effects but nothing happened. It was completely fine. However, you could discuss it with your therapist. She might be able to write a prescription for you.

The 4th dilator is hard because of the difference between the sizes. Try an intermediate size. I was also stuck on my 4th or 5th dilator and almost gave up, but then someone recommended me to try an in-between size which solved my problem. Hope this will work for you too. Good luck and don’t feel defeated. I felt the same way throughout my dilation journey. Sometimes it felt I would never be able to make it through, but then I did it. You can do it too.

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Hi emgb93,

What you mentioned sounds exactly like when I was in the middle of my dilation journey. I don’t know where you live, but in my country, doctors were not even aware that I had vaginismus. So I self-diagnosed and treated myself from the information across the internet and this forum. The burning and stinging feeling you get during dilation is common in vaginismus patients. I myself experienced it and it was so painful that I lost hope, but someone in the group recommended me to use Lidocaine ointment during dilation to numb the pain and it worked for me. Slowly my muscles became less tight and the burning and stinging disappeared. This burning feeling is actually a good sign because it means that your muscles are working just like when you exercise at first, your muscles feel sore, and then slowly the soreness disappears. Keep dilating and be patient. It took me 5 months of dilation to be finally able to have intercourse, especially the last dilators took a lot of time and it was painful. It is great that you are on the 4th dilator already. Appreciate yourself for this progress. Another thing is that if a particular dilator is taking a lot of time and being painful, try to find an intermediate size dilator which is smaller than the current one you are using but bigger than the 3rd dilator. In this way, your body will get familiar with dilating easily. Don’t lose hope and keep trying! You’ll be on the other side one day!

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