[Forumname]

Hey, idk if any of what I’m about to say will help but you’re definitely not alone. I’ve felt all the things you’re feeling; the lonliness, the negative feelings towards yourself etc etc. I have a similar issue and I cry about it all the time too. It’s such a sh*t feeling not feeling normal. Idk if you feel this too, but I get angry that every other person without an issue takes being able to have sex for granted. I also get so angry that they never explained at school during arc education that complications like these exist. I feel like if I grew up knowing this was a possibility I wouldn’t feel like such a freak for not being able to do something that is completely normal and natural. It is common knowledge that sex education in schools is awful, and I definitely think this is something that also needs to be included in it. I’m so sorry about your situation but it looks like you’re taking steps in the right direction. Maybe sex therapy is the key, I do hope that works for you and you find a solution soon. Much love! <3

[Forumname]

Yes the suggestions have been very helpful, I am very appreciative of everyone who has taken the time to read and/or reply to my post. I am currently waiting for an ultra sound appointment as they want to check that there is nothing physical going on before fully diagnosing me with vaginismus. Hopefully that will tell me how I can deal with my issue. If it’s physical there will probably be a treatment available to me and if it is purely a mental block then I should think they will recommend the right solution for that too. I didn’t want to go straight in with dilators by myself in case there is something physical going on that I could just make worse. This forum has helped relieve some of the loneliness I felt so I do really appreciate each and every reply. I think the other thing upsetting me was that I was seeing a guy for a while who was extremely understanding of the situation and was willing to help me get through it both physically and mentally but this ended after only 4 months. The optimist (or super naïve young girl some might say..) in me was like this is it. This is the guy that is going to make me be able to have sex but we were not together long enough for it to happen. I am over the guy himself but I do not think I am over the fact I thought I was going to be able to have sex because of him but obviously still can’t. :(. But I am sure I will get over this eventually too! But anyway, thanks for all your help and advice. It really does mean a lot.

[Forumname]

Actually, all of my close friends already know about it which I think makes it more upsetting that they casually sit there talking about it when they know full well I can’t join in, even when I am visibly uncomfortable. Having said that, I do not think they understand truly how upsetting it is for me ALL the time. They know it gets to me sometimes as I do talk about it with them if I’ve been triggered by something or someone else but I do not believe they realise that it affects me and is on my mind 24/7. However, the advice you gave me is still very helpful and I will definitely be using the conversation deflection method. Do you have any advice (or anyone else) on how to make the topic of sex less triggering? It is hard because whenever it is brought up I am straight away reminded of the pain I feel, and the sexual relations I have missed out on that I do actually wish to have.

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