[Allie]

Hi Viv.

I am overwhelmed with emotion reading “your story.” You have been through so much. It’s so physically & mentally exhausting leading a life where you always have to put on that happy face, yet you are carrying a big dark secret that controls you. I am so excited that you will be traveling to New Hampshire for treatment. Sounds like your boyfriend is supportive, which is amazing because you will need him move than ever. October will be 2 years since my procedure. My husband & I had been married for 5 years and could not have sex. Like you I tried EVERYTHING and I was so scared that this wouldn’t work for me, that I would be the ONE person that failed. My mom was skeptical also. I will tell you the moment I woke up from procedure I had my husband call my mom. I was crying happy tears and telling her that the dilator was inside and that I did not have pain. My mom told me later that she could hear hope in my voice. Dr Pacik even talked to her on the phone briefly while I was recovering. It put her at ease. She was miles away while her baby girl was getting botox in her vagina and dilators inserted by some doctor that she didn’t even know. After talking to Dr.P & I she had peace knowing I was right where I needed to be. I had a hard time selling my mom on the idea beforehand so I don’t have any advice on that, but you could share my story with her.

This procedure & treatment changed my life. I am able to have sex with my husband, and wear tampons! I am also now a MOMMY of a baby boy. Something I never thought would be possible.

The moment you step into Dr. Pacik’s office you will be starting a new journey, a new you. Being able to take control of your body and truly live a happy life. I am so so so excited for you and can not wait to read your posts. We are all here for you!! You WILL overcome this!

Allie:)

[Allie]

Hey ladies. It definitely can feel like “work”. Making sure you are dilating on a regular basic & then making sure you dilate before you have sex. It’s starts to feel so mechanical. I would feel the same way, my libido was so low. We would plan date nights. Whether it was going to a romantic dinner or just staying home & watching a movie. I would go out and buy some lingerie and wear under my clothes.(sounds silly I know but it made me feel sexy) haha. I would suprise him with it.. On the way home from dinner or etc. One thing we would always say when we would start to be intimate with each other was it’s OK if we don’t have intercourse. We would just spend a lot of time kissing & touching… Sometimes we didn’t even end up trying to have sex. But we needed those moments of intimacy to connect emotionally. We eventually got to a good place where we had those sparks again! I finally started to actually act on my feelings and initiate being intimate without it feeling like a chore.

I don’t know if this helps, but just keep on keeping on!:) You gotta bring out that old spark in yourself that you use to have! 🙂

[Allie]

Congrats Becca! I am so happy for you, being a mother is the most amazing thing. I didn’t start up dilating again until my son was about 3months. I was so exhausted and it just wasn’t a priority. Please don’t stress about it! You will be so busy getting to know your new baby, just soak it all in!:) I promise you once you all get settled with the baby and on a routine you will be able to find time to start dilating! And trust me, you will be so amazed at yourself for delivering this baby that you will feel empowered!!:) I was so terrified the first time and I just started small & worked my way up! You will do amazing! Enjoy these last months being pregnant!:)

K Howard- I am so incredibly happy for you!! I absolutey can not wait to see pictures of your baby boy!!! I was just telling my mom the other day “remember the woman I met before my
procedure, well she’s pregnant!!” My mom even had tears! 🙂

[Allie]

LOVE this! So happy for you!

[Allie]

Thank you galaxy gal!:)

Huge congrats to you Mayra on using #6! Sounds like you are doing awesome!!!:) I look forward to reading about your continued success!

Herisnowhy- hi!:) it was definitely not pain free the first couple times. There was definitely more discomfort. At first the initial insertion stressed me out, I dreaded it. Sometimes it would take us a while to fully insert. We would just do a little at a time. Once he was fully inserted I would just have to relax(or try to relax anyway) for a minute without movement. When it came to thrusting and etc it helped me to be in charge at first. He would just sort of follow me. With each time it got better & better! I must say though that there are times now when there is some discomfort but as things “progress” there is ZERO discomfort! It will get better!!! Hope this helps, let me know if you have any more questions!

[Allie]

Hi Katie-

I always put them in my carry on bag(nothing special, just a bigger type purse). Never had an issue.:)

[Allie]

I wore really tight undies and when walking around just kind of tightened my legs. 🙂 I could never pee with it in either. Sounds like you’re doing great on your first day!

When wanting to post on the forum you just have to click “new topic” on the right hand side. 🙂

[Allie]

Thank you Kelseroo:)

[Allie]

“You must of been sexually abused.”

[Allie]

It very well good be!! I don’t know too much about ovarian cysts but could defintiely be the culprit..

[Allie]

I did not experience that, but remember hearing that its very normal for that to happen. So no worries! 🙂 Congrats on using tampons!

[Allie]

I did have pain inside for a while at first, until I realized it was because I was so tense. I used to only dilate while laying in bed, I would notice not only my butt being clinched tight but also my lower back arched. I wasn’t even meaning to! Just a normal reaction when your body is not used to having something inside! I started to venture out on the couch while dilating, even vacuuming(which was very interesting lol). But the more I kept my self busy I noticed I wasn’t as tense and would not even feel the dilator inside! I never dilate while I’m on my cycle and to this day(almost 2 years later) when I dilate after a taking a week or so off it can be a little painful at first, but the longer I leave the dilator in and relax my bottom I forget it’s even inside!

I know what you mean by “exorcism” mode! Ha! That describes it perfectly! I used to do the same thing to my husband! Don’t be so hard on yourself. It will take longer emotionally to catch up where you are physically. Keep doing what you’re doing! And remember you will have good days with dilating and bad days! Some days I would dilate(or try to!) and I would have a hard time inserting or couldn’t leave it in long. It can be frustrating, but just celebrate the good days! You are taking control of your body one day at a time!

[Allie]

Hi:) I remember cramping up pretty bad after my procedure when I returned home & started dilating myself. I believe my cramping was due to me tensing up. I would know because my butt would also be clinched tight when dilating. I had to constantly keep telling myself to relax my body. Easier said then done, but it gets better! Tighten up your toes then relax them, tighten up your fist then relax them. Keep doing that throughout your body(while dilating). It always helped me! Even during intercourse. You will NOT fail! Sounds like you are doing so great! Congrats on getting #5 in! That’s awesome!

Allie

[Allie]

Thank you Katie! Congrats to you! Sounds like you’re doing very well with dilating & etc! That’s so great that you live so close to the office!! I live in Florida.:) I know it’s hard to not stress about getting pregnant, but look how far you’ve come! Just enjoy each other & it will happen when it’s supposed to!! Praying for many blessings for you and your hubby!

[Allie]

Wow! Amazing! Thank you Dr. Pacik!

[Author]

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