Young women: not enough education!
June 24, 2021 at 11:16 am #44632TheresaParticipant
Rant mode on.
I was 16 when I had sex for the first time. It was so painful I screamed, cried and told my boyfriend I’d never do it again. Until I saw a short clip from a porn movie on the internet. You know what? I thought those women were actually in pain TOO. The way they screamed, the looks on their face… and I thought: it IS supposed to be like that! So I started to have sex again. Every single partner I had, had to forcefully push their penis inside, and no-one seemed to mind I was in pain. It was horrific and I hope no-one will ever be in so much pain as I’ve been. I was incredibly naive and it took me over FOUR years before I had to courage to talk about this to my mom.
My pelvic floor therapist told me I’ll need months, if not years to recover. I wish more young women were aware of what vaginismus is.June 24, 2021 at 1:09 pm #44659redroseParticipant
Oh Theresa, that’s such a heartbreaking story… I don’t think it really helps, but you should realize you’re not alone and I absolutely agree more education is needed on this topic, especially for young girls.
In most cases, vaginismus is present from the first time you have sex, so if you’re having sex when you’re 14, 15 or 16, you’re bound to run into this issue. I have no clue what Maze does for these young girls, perhaps they can tell us something about their youngest patients and the way they help them out.
I’m glad you finally found the courage to talk about the pain you had with your mum. Was she understanding?
If there is anything that lots of patients share, it’s the idea that pain is “normal” and that it’s part of sex. And I understand how you’ve got confused – the first time I saw porn I also thought those women weren’t enjoying sex. Porn is generally aimed towards men, with women as “victims”. The exaggerated screaming and shouting gives the impression they aren’t enjoying sex at all.June 26, 2021 at 3:48 pm #44922recessivegenequeenParticipant
I’m so sorry for what you’ve been through, Theresa. As someone who used to have vaginismus I have wrestled with a lot of anger in the past (and present) at how sex is so badly communicated about in our society and how easy it is to believe things like that pain is a necessary part of sex when it absolutely shouldn’t be. We absolutely need to be educating girls (AND boys!) better about what sex should feel like and how to do it properly. It would save so many people years of suffering if conditions like vaginismus were better understood.
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