When Sex Seems Impossible: Stories of Vaginismus & How You Can Achieve Intimacy
February 13, 2013 at 4:18 pm #8816
Hi all. I think one of the most important tools for advocacy and spreading the word about the condition of vaginismus is Dr. Pacik’s book: When Sex Seems Impossible: Stories of Vaginismus & How You Can Achieve Intimacy. For anyone who has just joined the Forum, I would strongly encourage you to purchase it at:
or through Amazon at
and please write a review after reading. The more reviews, the greater likelihood that even one women with this condition will learn that it has a name and most importantly, that there is a cure. In addition, I would encourage you to share the book with your doctors and therapists. When I first contacted Dr. Pacik’s office, this was the very first thing that I read and once I started, I read it from cover to cover. I am not an overly emotional person but I certainly became emotional after reading it and for the first time, felt like there were others out there who also had this condition that I had been suffering alone with for so long. As I read on through the various chapters, I also learned so much more about the medical condition of vaginismus, information that I never knew prior to reading this. I then learned every single thing there was to know about Dr. Pacik’s procedure and what exactly it would be like. This made me feel a thousand times better and more prepared in advance and I can remember quoting parts of the book to him and Ellen in my consult. I guess I had kind of studied and memorized portions. LOL. In all seriousness, my very favorite part of the book was reading real-life stories of other women who also had the condition of vaginismus; received treatment with Dr. Pacik; and were then cured from this horrible condition. It instilled so much hope in me. I also had my husband read it from cover to cover as well and, he too, learned so much more about the medical condition of vaginismus and also had hope that this procedure would work and be an end to our suffering. It was – thank God! I, again, would strongly encourage you to read this book, write a review, and also share with your Doctors and/or therapists. Who knows how many others may be helped by doing this.March 3, 2014 at 1:39 pm #12579
Hi ladies. In a prior post, Becca wrote: “My OBGYN has been pretty great overall, but I know that she doesn’t understand it as well as Dr. P does and so I just got a copy of his book “When Sex Seems Impossible” to give to my Dr. so she can see the whole picture. She was very curious once I told her I was going to NH for treatment.” This is so excellent and will give her a much better understanding of both the condition of vaginismus and the treatment program. :):):)March 7, 2014 at 5:33 pm #12591BeccaParticipant
I am super excited to give the book to her! 🙂 And I liked that I had little pamphlets included in my folder at the clinic — I already have people in mind to pass those out to as well. 🙂May 21, 2014 at 8:56 pm #12837
This is so wonderful Becca. I have passed out the book as well as the pamphlets to every single doctor that I’ve visited post-procedure and, through this, we are all doing more to spread the word about vaginismus.
In an absolutely excellent post today, hereisnowhy wrote of her experiences after reading Dr. P’s book:
“The book was amazing. I loved that there were patient testimonies and success stories. I love that Dr. Pacik backed up all of his information and let you see it from every angle. I love that I didn’t feel so isolated anymore. But most of all, I love that it 100% convinced my boyfriend that this treatment was exactly what we needed. He was open to learning about it, but unsure of the whole “Botox thing”. By the time he finished the book, he was on board and ready to go, and he said he learned a lot about what I have been going through.”
This is so similar to how my husband and I felt after reading it and for the first time, realized we were not alone and the only ones experiencing this. Words cannot describe how much it helped the both of us and how we felt after reading. If anyone is reading this post for the first time, I would definitely encourage you to read the book and for those who have already read it, what are your thoughts? Would you recommend it to others?July 20, 2016 at 5:05 pm #19540
For any new members of the Forum, I encourage you to read Dr. Pacik’s book When Sex Seems Impossible: Stories of Vaginismus & How You Can Achieve Intimacy. It was such an emotional experience for my husband and I and one we will never ever forget. As I previously wrote, my very favorite part of the book was reading real-life stories of other women who also had the condition of vaginismus; received treatment with Dr. Pacik; and were then cured. It instilled so much hope in me. I also had my husband read it from cover to cover as well and, he too, learned so much more about the medical condition of vaginismus and also had hope that this procedure would work.July 28, 2016 at 8:15 pm #19559Rachel Hercman, LCSWParticipant
Thanks for the recommendation Heather! Great book.
I like that he uses the word “intimacy” because Vaginismus is an issue that hits more than just your sex life…it has a way of hijacking the whole intimacy piece of the relationship, of feelings close to one another. It can create a “walking on eggshell” feeling around touch in general.
Many of our patients have talked about feeling like resolving vaginismus not only enhanced their sex life, but created space for intimacy to thrive in the relationship without this dark shadow.
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