I must be crazy

[recessivegenequeen]

Snooks22 you got this!!!! And also it’s NOT something you did to yourself – it’s something that happened to you. We can’t choose the struggles of our lives but we can choose to confront them. I know you can do it.

[Jennifer Dembo, LMSW]

snooks22 – recessivegenequeen took the words out of my mouth (or keyboard, as it were). The anxiety won’t always be this acute. Funny how events like elbow pain or a respiratory infection are just those things – they often don’t stir us up emotionally and rarely ignite interpersonal issues. But the vagina? That’s a whole other story, so anxiety, anger, frustration and isolation often come along for the vaginismus ride and are completely natural. The point is, repressing these feelings can only make things worse. That’s why it’s so amazing that you’ve shared here on the forum, that you cry, that you are reflecting on all the things that ultimately motivated you to get to this point. It makes 100% sense that you’re feeling all the feels and though it’s challenging to sit with them, you’re healthier for it.

When you choose Maze as your partner in treatment, you’ll receive the highest standards of both medical care and psycho-emotional support. Either I or one of my colleagues will see you at your follow-up visit the day after the procedure, and we’ll have the opportunity to talk about your experience (and your plan going forward). You also receive a free, hour-long therapy session (in-person, via phone or Skype). And of course, we’re available for additional sessions as well if you choose. Our entire staff is committed to guiding you through the process every step of the way.

You’ve come this far, and you should be incredibly proud! You ARE a great person, and you DO deserve a full life. Let us know how we can best support you through this journey.

[Snooks22]

Thank you ladies I feel so empowered. Of course I still have anxiety but I feel like the more I talk about it the better I feel. With all the support I known I’ll get past this and be able to be a help to other woman that have this problem.

[recessivegenequeen]

I’m so glad you feel that way – you’ll continue to feel a lot of emotions throughout the experience, but your sense of empowerment is only going to grow. A funny thing happens when you start to take charge.

I’m so excited to hear how your call/appointment is going to go! Good luck and let us know!

[Sks823]

Snooks22,

I LOVED READING THIS EXCHANGE! It’s one of my favorites! (and btw – you’re NOT crazy). I know It’s 6 months later – sorry for the delay – but reading your posts and recessivegenequeen’s support and her story made me so happy. And of course Jennifer’s support too 🙂

I also went to Maze (back in 2016) and had the same feelings of HIIIIIIIIIIIGH anxiety – and my first appointments were HARD. I think I was a difficult case seeing as I couldn’t wear tampons, hadn’t had a pap smear, and of course had EXTREME anxiety my first few appointments. The thought of dilating with even the smallest dilator gave me immense fear. The physical portion of the first couple appointments were incredibly nerve-wracking; I was prescribed Xanax to take before each following appointment.

BUT… I persisted. With the help of Maze, after my first couple appointments (and failed attempts at home and WANTING to give up, and thinking I might be that one incurable case), I was able to insert the smallest dilator by myself. After I knew I could do that, I had much more confidence and was SLOWLY but surely able to move up in dilator sizes every appointment (I had appointments every 2-3 weeks), dilating mostly daily between appointments. Each time I moved up in dilator size, I felt accomplished and motivated. Also, after being comfortable with the first couple dilators, tampons went in easily!

So I wanted to reach out and share a bit of my story. While there were times of frustration and times I wanted to give up, I’m so glad I went out of my comfort zone to make the first appointment and persevere. And hopefully you have done the same!

Cheers!