hitting a wall
August 22, 2013 at 1:05 pm #8978
🙂 Hello everyone, I am new to the forum. I really, really wish all of you much success with this! I have just started using Dr. Pacik’s glass dilators. I have not had the Botox treatment yet but am seriously thinking about it. Have most of you gals had that problem of “hitting a wall” ? My husband mentioned that a few times – “feels like I’m hitting a wall”, when inserting finger. When I work with the dilator, I don’t really come across that but he does. Thanks. Any comments I would appreciate so much!August 22, 2013 at 2:11 pm #11793NakitalabParticipant
Hi candi, welcome to the Forum. Both my husband and I can totally relate to “hitting a wall”. I had Vaginismus for most of my teen/adult life, including almost 32 years of our married life. Prior to Dr. Pacik’s procedure it was like I had a wall inside of me that would not let anything penetrate. I had my procedure last October and am so happy to say that I don’t have “a wall” anymore. Dilating is much easier and I am able to have pain-free intercourse with my husband. I’m so glad you found the Forum and hope that you will give Dr. Pacik a call and seriously consider having the procedure done. It is life changing! Dr. Pacik and his team are awesome! They totally understand what we have or are going through with Vaginismus and truly are there to support and help us heal! As well as this Forum, we are all here for you and each other. It has truly blessed my life in so many ways.August 22, 2013 at 9:51 pm #11794
Thank you so much Nakatilab! Talking to you, I feel so much better. I think I will go up to New Hampshire to see Dr. Pacik. Also, congratulations to you. I am so happy for you!! You have made me feel so much better and thank you for responding today. I spoke to Dr. Pacik and he is so understanding and Janet Pacik also. I have also spoken to a few of the girls in the office and they are very, very helpful. Have a good night!August 23, 2013 at 11:09 pm #11796Dr. PacikParticipant
This series of posts is important to help understand the importance of stratifying the severity of vaginismus. The more severe cases complain of a “wall” which I feel is diagnostic of spasm of the entry muscle to the vagina. Less severe cases can be treated by a variety of methods, but once the “wall” is there, talk therapy and physical therapy do not provide adequate treatment. This is why I feel the full Botox program is of importance. The Botox “calms” the muscle, while the dilators help stretch this muscle to a point where intercourse becomes comfortable. The average length of failed treatments in the more severe vaginismus patients is 7.5 years when I looked at my data last year of some 150 patients treated. This long length of failed treatments indicates the severity of the problem.
I would love to hear from others any thoughts regarding the wall and failed treatments.August 25, 2013 at 10:17 am #11797
Good morning. I would like to kindly ask for clarification by one of the administrators on the statement made by Dr. Pacik “average length of failed treatments in the more severe vaginismus patients is 7.5 years”. Thank you. Have a nice day.August 26, 2013 at 8:27 am #11803Heather34Moderator
Hi Candi. Welcome to the Forum. I’m so glad you found Dr. Pacik and you are using the Glass Dilators. I originally had my procedure in June 2011 when the glass dilators were not yet offered so I mainly used the pure romance ones post-procedure. However, I did purchase and have used the glass ones prior to ob/gyn exams and absolutely love them. I find them to be so much more comfortable then the pure romance ones as they are shorter in length and much easier to walk with. While I know that it is no longer necessary, I still dilate with these glass dilators for several hours prior to any ob/gyn exam and have even used them while typing briefs in my office with complete comfort. Now, in your first post, you described the concept of “hitting a wall”. This is exactly what both my husband and I felt while I had vaginismus. We tried so many different times to achieve intercourse and each and every time, he would try to enter or even insert his finger, he said it would be as if he couldn’t get past this wall. All I knew was it caused the pain/burning feeling and just felt like no matter how much I tried to push anything in, nothing could get passed this. Once I had my Botox procedure, this was one of the most important things that both my husband and I noticed, the wall (“great wall as he called it”) dissipated, which allowed me to insert all of the sized dilators without my normal resistance and blocked feeling. We both, again, were happily surprised by this and he, too, helped me and later inserted the dilators and his fingers and realized that this was now gone. Within 7 days of my procedure, we transitioned and had pain-free intercourse. Huge smiles and we both actually cried b/c of the ordeal we had been through with so many failed treatments (i.e. using dilators on my own, PT, etc.). Now, as for your second question, you asked for clarification on the sentence “average length of failed treatments in the more severe vaginismus patients is 7.5 years.” This means that the more severe cases (i.e. Pacik level 4, 5) have tried and tried many different treatments to no avail for several years. This is exactly what I did. I had Pacik level 5 vaginismus, which is the most severe, and I tried and failed at all other treatments (i.e. pelvic floor PT, using dilators on my own, etc.) for so many years, including my entire 11 year relationship/5 year marriage.
In addition to my own struggle with failed treatments, so many others have also tried and failed at several treatments prior to finding Dr. Pacik and this procedure:
Reese: “Prior to the treatment with Dr. Pacik, I had tried what felt like everything under the sun. I had done physical therapy, biofeedback, etc. I had suffered from vaginismus for 7 years prior to the treatment. However, doing the treatment was the best thing that ever happened to me. My treatment cost (not including flight and hotel, of course) was $5250, and insurance reimbursed me $3756. This was a HUGE help for me. The only reason I saw a reimbursement was because Diane Tremblay fought hard for many hours with my insurance company until they paid the proper portion of the claim. She is worth every penny, as is the treatment!!!!! Note: Even if you do not get the procedure covered under insurance, I can assure you it will be the best money you have ever spent. It will relieve so much pain and bring so much happiness into your life. I would have paid three times the amount if I had to.”
Lotus1000: “I had done various OBGYN exams, including one angry OBGYN who yelled at me in his Russian accent “totally unacceptable!” when I scooted away during a speculum exam. I went to vaginismus.com and ordered those dilators. I tried getting my husband to use his fingers. I used tampons. I went to counseling (even with a sex therapist). I then considered going to IVF so I could bypass intercourse as a way of getting pregnant.
After 6 years of all of this, where I essentially chased my tail again and again, I found Dr. Pacik’s site and just had my treatment this past week!”
Nakitalab: “At the age of 52 I felt like I had tried every treatment under the sun. From surgery to include hymen outer ring removed, episotomy, and scar tissue removal, anti-depressants, alcohol, counseling, sex therapy, dilators, etc. I had my procedure in October and just 14 days after the procedure was able to have intercourse with zero pain. It is now day 119 and I still have no pain. I too have had help from Diane Tremblay with insurance coverage. She works so hard for you to help get your insurance to cover all or part of your procedure. I highly recommend her.”
Candi, again, I am so happy that you found this Forum and Dr. Pacik. He was the answer to so many years of prayers for my husband and I and we can now have pain-free and enjoyable intercourse. I look forward to reading more of your posts and please know that we are all here to support you.September 2, 2013 at 3:10 pm #11837
Thank you very much for your wonderful advice. This is all good to know and something I needed to understand further. I am dilating on my own but I still think I will need the procedure as some point soon. Thanks again. Have a nice week.September 3, 2013 at 2:57 pm #11839Dr. PacikParticipant
Most of my patients are unable to use dilators, some won’t even open the box! For those who do use dilators a certain number will be unable to progress past a medium sized dilator. Some of these patients work with a physical therapist and they too have difficulty advancing to a large enough dilator to be comfortable with intercourse. If you or anyone reading this series of posts “get stuck” using dilators, it simply means you are a good candidate for the full Botox treatment program which includes progressive dilation under anesthesia and detailed post procedure counseling to understand how to progress from dilation to intercourse. For those women who were able to use dilators but were unable to use the larger dilators, I would love you to share your experiences.October 15, 2013 at 1:28 pm #11950BeccaParticipant
Well I am one of those women that has been able to use the dilators to some extent, but have never been able to get larger sizes in and never without excessive amounts of lidocaine gel. I too have the “wall” feeling and it has taken me many years to be able to get anything in at all. :-/ The description of “hitting a wall” is how I first realized that I did have vaginismus after finding that as the number one description when I searched the web.
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