Another Knockdown

[Hannah]

Hi everyone,
So recently I went to my doctors and saw my gp after building up a lot of courage to go first of all. The experience totally disheartened me and I believe made me feel worse. I didn’t get my hopes up but I had some sort of hope that there would be a next step she could guide me in… after spilling my details in around 10 minutes, rushed the only way I felt was stupid. I felt because I am 17 she thought I was naive and just silly… she referred me to a specialist I thought but then told me she wouldn’t know how long this could take and could be a long time. I also couldn’t have an examination as there was no nurse and I haven’t booked one as now I don’t feel comfortable with my gp. There wasn’t anything extremely awful about my appointment I just felt that she was very unsympathetic (not that I want or need sympathy) but I felt that the issue wasn’t important. So today I received a letter from the NHS telling me I had been referred to CAMHS (child and adolescents mental health service) and I am so confused why. I researched and they don’t do any sort of treatment/counselling regarding vaginismus or sexual health. The letter stated that after a meeting my details provided was not sufficient to seek help… i was under the impression my doctor would’ve referred me to a specialist? Or anyone who knew more about sexual health. I just feel so stuck now because I’m obviously still going to look for help, I’m going to try book an appointment at the local sexual health clinic and see if they can help me any way… (background story boyfriend for 2 years no intercourse, can’t use tampon, fear, and feeling very very very down about it constantly) thanks I just needed to rant to people who may understand. Xx

[Nicole Tammelleo, MA, LCSW]

Hello Hannah,

I am so sorry to hear your story, and it does sound like what we hear form so many of our patients. And while you may not want sympathy, it would be nice if they have at least given you some empathy. I am not located in the UK, so I am not familiar with how their system works, but I have had past patients in the UK find this a good resource:
http://www.vaginismusawareness.com/#home
Hope the ranting helped, and best of luck!
Nicole

[recessivegenequeen]

Hannah – that SUCKS! I’m so sorry you had such a bad appointment. Unfortunately Nicole is right in that a lot of women finding help for sexual problems often run into unsympathetic doctors early on. It’s especially devastating when we have so much social regard for medical professionals and take for granted that they’ll have answers (or at least be understanding when they don’t).

You’re extremely brave and tough to be seeking help at 17, and even with this setback I hope you keep seeking help – I wish I had gotten treatment at 17 instead of at 25. There will be other, better doctors out there and other women on these forums from the UK have successfully found treatment before. I hope the rant helped and know that we think you’re so strong! Keep looking for answers!

[Sks823]

Hannah,

I completely understand what you went through, and it must have been so so disheartening for your GP to not take you seriously or give you any answers.

Luckily, this forum has tons of answers! I think going to your local sexual health clinic is a good idea, and I hope you have a much better experience.

I also couldn’t wear tampons before going to Maze Women’s Health & using dilators to of increasing size to overcome my vaginismus. I know this was a bad first experience and it’s a HUGE step to even see the doctor and express your concerns… so I really hope you don’t give up. I KNOW you can overcome this, just like soooo many of us on these forums have! It takes dedication and work but I know you have the determination which is what it takes to get through this 🙂

Good luck and keep us updated!