20 Tips for Future Patients
October 9, 2012 at 9:25 pm #8681
I think a fun thread that we can keep building on is coming up with “20 Tips for Future Patients” together. Every single post by every single member of this Forum is exceptional and so valuable to others. I would love to develop this all together and can’t wait to see what we can come up with.
1. Replace any negative thoughts with positive ones. You WILL be successful with this procedure, with dilating, with achieving intercourse, and with OVERCOMING vaginismus!October 9, 2012 at 10:52 pm #10439mmbayles91Participant
2. Be patient, this is a long process but you CAN do it.October 16, 2012 at 9:26 pm #10457
3. TRUST IN GOD – with God all things are possible!!!October 20, 2012 at 11:07 pm #10471
4. Trust that Dr. Pacik and his staff really do know what they are doing and want nothing more than for you to succeed!October 23, 2012 at 8:34 pm #10499
5. This is something that I was sent by my mother and it immediately made me think about Vaginismus.
Don’t Meditate on the Little Disappointments
Deep hurt doesn’t just come from huge disappointments, like when we fail to get the job or promotion we really wanted. Deep emotional hurt can come from a series of minor annoyances and frustrations. That’s why we must know how to handle the small, daily disappointments and keep them in perspective.
When you focus on something continually, it’s called meditation. The little frustrations that come up every day are annoying on their own, but when they pile up, it almost seems impossible to meditate on anything else.
But instead of concentrating on your problems and getting discouraged, focus on God and meditate on His promises for you. Life might get you down, but you don’t have to stay down. God is ready, willing and able to pick you up.
When disappointment weighs on you, you can either let it press you down, or you can use it as a stepping-stone to better things. Choose to face disappointment at its onset by meditating on God’s ways. He has better things for you, and He will help you defeat disappointment.
Prayer Starter: God, like Psalm 119:15 says, I will meditate on Your Word, not the little disappointments that try to press me down. Life can be discouraging, but Your Word is so encouraging, I know I can overcome the discouragement by looking to You!October 23, 2012 at 9:03 pm #10503Janet PacikParticipant
K Howard, This is absolutely beautiful and so true. Thank you for sharing it with us.October 23, 2012 at 9:14 pm #10505
I thought so too Janet…I just could not help but share what my mother shared with me!October 24, 2012 at 5:00 am #10507
Thanks Karla for sharing Mom’s wisdom.
6. Know that the road may be long and tortuous with unexpected bumps along the way. Keep dilating and keep the faith. You have made a quantum leap and any long journey take times and patience, but the rewards are great.November 9, 2012 at 10:59 am #10680NakitalabParticipant
7. Take advantage and utilize the Forum! Words can’t express how much I have benefitted from the love, support, advice and sharing from so many women on this Forum. All these years of suffering in silence; too afraid and humiliated to talk to anyone about what I was going through. But this Forum has given all of us a voice. We aren’t alone anymore! We can share our ups and downs. To me, this has been a huge part of my road to healing!November 10, 2012 at 6:39 am #10684Janet PacikParticipant
8. INCLUDE and TRUST your husband or partner in the entire process. Begin with open communication before your treatment about what you are feeling, your fears, anxiety and what you desire for your life after treatment. Secondly, if at at possible, have the treatment with your husband or partner present so he can learn about vaginismus and the treatment process. Thirdly, include your husband or partner in your recovery, especially in your daily dilation. Lastly, continue with the open communication after your treatment about what you are feeling, your fears, anxiety and what you desire for your life now that Botox treatment is now completed. REMEMBER that your husband or partner is also affected by vaginismus and this part of his life has also been on hold and wants nothing more than to be there for you and to help you and to love you.November 10, 2012 at 7:56 am #10685
Think about branching out. Allow yourself to experiment with all the wondrous gifts of sexuality we have been given. Once the dilation is under control and once intercourse is comfortable and second nature think about alternatives. Visit a “toy store” together and have fun. Think “dress up” (and dress down!). Think water: showers (as one recent patient volunteered think what you can do with a detachable shower head), baths, hot tubs. Connect with music, wine, soft lighting. Connect with dance. Connect with crazy fun things to do. It all sets the stage for fun and variety. Let’s keep this thread going, it’s fun and educational.November 12, 2012 at 8:10 pm #10694
10. Celebrate even the small steps for one day you may look back and realize they were really the big things and extremely important in your journey to overcome vaginismus. I am a firm believer that celebrating these small steps helps to make the journey that much easier!November 14, 2012 at 8:42 am #10711
11. I can hardly believe how having this procedure will change our lives. So many years lost…but that is not what any of should dwell on. We should instead concentrate on how awesome the future will be! And how we, as triumphant and strong women, can help other women and girls that are going through this difficult time have hope and power to conquer this problem. And these road blocks are given to us for a reason. The point is to overcome them, and become even stronger because of them. Keep on working with the dilators if you have already had the procedure, and if you are still contemplating having the procedure, do not hesitate any longer!November 24, 2012 at 10:41 pm #10813
12. With the profound success of “Alyx” http://www.vaginismusmd.com/vaginismus-md-forum/?mingleforumaction=viewtopic&t=399
even after fourteen months, remember to never give up hope.December 9, 2012 at 9:14 pm #10857
13. You’re treatment is unique to you! From Dr. Pacik: “It is so important to be aware of this concept. When three patients are treated the same day, we start with different degrees of severity of the vaginismus and different levels of anxiety. Each then follows along a different course. Some sail through with the large dilators, others struggle. Some achieve early intercourse others take longer. This is all emphasized during the counseling sessions so no one feels left behind. It is the final victory of overcoming lifelong vaginismus that counts. This is an important area for treated patients to post so others can understand the varied progress women make after treatment. It is all part of the big picture of the community supporting one another, so that here too, no one feels like a “freak” and no one ever feels the torment of feeling isolated.”
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