[srhsrh]

I’m really sorry you’re going through this. Ten years without intimacy, especially without open communication, has to be incredibly tough. It’s not just about sex, but feeling wanted and connected.

Vaginismus is real, but if your wife isn’t willing to address it or talk about how it affects both of you, that puts you in a painful spot. Your frustration and loneliness make total sense.

Before making any major decisions like a hall pass or affair, maybe consider therapy, either for yourself or as a couple. You deserve to be heard and supported, too.

Wishing you clarity and strength.

[srhsrh]

Super helpful to know there’s not a specific “technique” and that it usually just happens naturally with dilation. Also really appreciate the heads-up about the lidocaine and possible bleeding, that kind of detail makes the whole thing a lot less intimidating.

[srhsrh]

I can imagine how tough this must be. You’re not alone, and it’s great you’re talking about it. Maybe try pelvic floor therapy or see if a physiotherapist can help, if possible. Botox can sound scary, but it’s a safe option for relaxing the muscles. It might help, but talking to your doctor or sexologist again might give you a clearer idea of what’s best for you. Keep going at your own pace, you’re doing great.

[srhsrh]

I’m also dealing with vaginismus and know how emotionally draining it can be when you’ve tried so much already. That overwhelming reaction you mentioned, crying, pain, shutting down, hits close to home, and I’ve also felt unsure about how much my partner wants to be involved, even when they say they care. What’s helped me a bit is taking really small steps, like just getting comfortable with external touch or even just holding a dilator nearby without trying to insert it, and writing down feelings after. I’ve also thought about using substances, but I worry it would just numb things temporarily without actually helping long term.

[srhsrh]

I didn’t know about the hyaluronic acid inserts before, that sounds interesting. I’ve also heard a few people mention coconut oil but wasn’t sure if it was safe to use often. Just wondering if anyone here has tried these for a while and if they felt any better using them instead of regular lube. It’s tough when something that’s supposed to help just makes things harder.

[Author]

Posts