Can you tear your own hymen?

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Home Forums Vaginismus Support Group Vaginismus and the Single Patient Can you tear your own hymen?

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    I’m currently single but I’ve been in a relationship before and sex has always been uncomfortable/painful. During my annual checkup I told my doc about this and she did an internal exam and told me my hymen was still intact (despite the fact my boyfriend was able to penetrate me on a few occasions). Her guess was that it was either my hymen hurting me, or vaginismus.

    I’ve heard that during sports or while using vibrators, tampons and cups you can tear your hymen. Does this mean I can also tear my own hymen using for instance my fingers and get rid of this issue? Or is this something that absolutely needs to be done by a gyn?


    Hi bluemoon – you can definitely tear your own hymen yourself! If you haven’t torn it already, a tampon, a dilator, a vibrator, or your finger could definitely be used, if that is indeed the issue.

    I can’t tell by your post if you’ve been to a gyno or just a general practitioner to get your original diagnosis, but if you DIDN’T see a gyno it might be worth trying to get a more precise answer. If the pain is like a tension or you feel like you’re “pushing against a brick wall” that could be vaginismus – if the pain has been persistent and a long-standing issue, I feel like it might be something more like vaginismus than a hymen issue, which could hurt if it ripped but probably wouldn’t have persistent pain. I’m not a doctor so my recommendation is that you get seen by a gynecologist to know more for sure so you can seek out a treatment that works for you!


    Hi bluemoon! I second what recessivegenequeen said. However, I am proof that sometimes hymens do need a professional. When I had my BOTOX treatment, I also had a hymenectomy while I was under and Melissa told me my husband wouldn’t have even been able to break it himself. It was stubborn and too big! I would start there, if you’re comfortable! You don’t want a negative trip to the gyno actually cause you vaginismus. If it works out for you and you’re vaginismus free, than great!! Less work! If you do have vaginismus, at least you got that hymen out of the way! 🙂 Regardless, you’ll be okay! You got this! Keep us updated


    Not much attention is given to the hymen during sex ed and biology classes, at least, not enough IMHO, cause it can play an important role during sex, and certainly when you’ve got vaginusmus.

    Recessivegenequeen is right: a tampon, a dilator, a vibrator, or your finger can tear your hymen. In my case, my hymen was still intact and my therapist used a mirror to show me what it looked like. There is a special technique you can use to tear your own hymen, which is needed before starting to use the dilator set.

    Feel free to ask me any question you want.

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