Can you tear your own hymen?

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    I’m currently single but I’ve been in a relationship before and sex has always been uncomfortable/painful. During my annual checkup I told my doc about this and she did an internal exam and told me my hymen was still intact (despite the fact my boyfriend was able to penetrate me on a few occasions). Her guess was that it was either my hymen hurting me, or vaginismus.

    I’ve heard that during sports or while using vibrators, tampons and cups you can tear your hymen. Does this mean I can also tear my own hymen using for instance my fingers and get rid of this issue? Or is this something that absolutely needs to be done by a gyn?


    Hi bluemoon – you can definitely tear your own hymen yourself! If you haven’t torn it already, a tampon, a dilator, a vibrator, or your finger could definitely be used, if that is indeed the issue.

    I can’t tell by your post if you’ve been to a gyno or just a general practitioner to get your original diagnosis, but if you DIDN’T see a gyno it might be worth trying to get a more precise answer. If the pain is like a tension or you feel like you’re “pushing against a brick wall” that could be vaginismus – if the pain has been persistent and a long-standing issue, I feel like it might be something more like vaginismus than a hymen issue, which could hurt if it ripped but probably wouldn’t have persistent pain. I’m not a doctor so my recommendation is that you get seen by a gynecologist to know more for sure so you can seek out a treatment that works for you!

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