[Shaap33]

Thank you for the immense support and advice. The virtual support provided by this forum is emotionally so strengthening and I cant thank you all enough for that.

As suggested by Melissa, I did some measuring and my husband is somewhere between the #6 and #7. I kept pushing myself over the month, but not even the tip of #7 is able to go in. I consulted with my gynecologist again and she encouraged me to have intercourse as I am almost there. However, over the months of both emotional and physical struggle, I have gotten to understand that even a few cm makes a huge difference and I am afraid to try without actually getting there because i feel like if there’s no luck, the emotional setback will derail me terribly.

The #6 that I have has a girth of 4inch and the #7, 4.5inches and I am currently using the soul source silicone dilators. Are there any other dilators that I can find online that has a size in between these two?

I came across the millimedical dilator that has variable expansion that goes up to 5 inches in circumference (in very small increments) but I am apprehensive to use it as I don’t find too many reviews online and its a little expensive too.

Once again, I cannot explain how thankful I am to this forum and all the wonderful ladies. The amount of information, support and guidance I have got reading all the posts and the feeling of not being alone is inexplicable. I hope someday I can transition to the other side 🙂

[Shaap33]

Thanks for your messages! Just wanted to give an update. The Gynecologist confirmed that I have vaginismus and no other underlying physical issues and suggested a few positions that will help relax my muscles a little better than the position I was then using to insert the dilators. I kept at it for the last 2 months, I dilated meticulously for 2 hours everyday and somehow managed to get to dilator #6 of the soul source silicon dilator set !! 🙂 it made me immensely happy to know that I am normal too and someday I could have intercourse with my husband 🙂
I had 2 questions – Firstly, I am unable to progress to dilator #7 (I assume thats the size of the penis? it has a girth of 4.5inches) No matter how hard I try, how much I try to relax and no amount of lube appears to be helping. I cant even seem to get it to enter a little bit. So I went back to dilator #6. Any words of advice on how to transition to #7? Should I even get to #7 or can I transition to sexual intercourse?
Secondly, I notice that whenever I take breaks from dilation (say around for 1 week or so), when I get back to it subsequently, I seem to fail on the first day I resume at the size that last seemed comfortable. So I end up sizing back for the first 2 or 3 days and it takes me almost 4-5 days to get back to the size that was comfortable before the break. Does this happen to others too?

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