[katon0333]

Thanks Melissa, I’ll take a look at both types of dilators before deciding. In the meantime I will continue working with 3, 4 and 5 in my current set to get as comfortable as I can with these. Although the spasms are much less, I still get what I would call tightness more than anything in certain muscles (they definitely aren’t the same strong spasms I had when I starting dilating). Strangely the muscle tightness keeps changing about. So if I have a bit of tightness at the entrance muscle my upper muscles are more relaxed. But if the muscles at the entrance are more relaxed it’s then I tend to have a bit more tightness in the upper muscles 🤷‍♀️. Plus still sometimes a bit of slight spasming when removing the dilator out past the upper muscle ring and I have to focus on really relaxing the muscles to avoid this. Anyway these are just things I need to keep working on and by practising each day hopefully they will keep improving.

[katon0333]

Hi, I just wanted to post an update following on from my original post above. I had taken on board all the suggestions and thank you again for these. I called my doctor to see about getting some sort of muscle relaxant. She was wary about prescribing valium so instead gave me a course of baclofen muscle relaxants to take orally (just a low dose for 28 days). The good news is that these did really help me. Maybe it helped relax my muscles, maybe it was the anti-anxiety effect of the drug or maybe it was just a placebo effect – I’m really not sure but I definitely saw an improvement when dilating after starting this medication. I had been stuck on the 2nd dilator for quite a while, but over the past few weeks I have been able to work my way up to the 5th dilator (which is the biggest in the set I own!). For comparison it’s just slightly bigger than the 5th dilator in the pure romance set, being about 4.25 inches in circumference. It still does take time, and I need to work my way up using the 3rd and 4th dilator first, but I can insert the 5th dilator past the entrance muscle and lower muscles to insert about 4.5 inches. Sometimes it is easier and sometimes it can be bit trickier and take longer. This is to be expected and it will just take more practice to become quicker when inserting No 5. I am continuing with yoga classes and also using some pelvic floor relaxation videos I found on youtube as I think these are helping also. Overall trying muscle relaxants seemed to benefit me so may be worth a try for someone else to see if it helps them.

My only real issue is that I am still having muscle spasms really high up (when insert the dilator past 4.5inches in length). To note this is higher than the spasms I had mentioned in my first post above, these were about 3 inches high and I seem to mostly be able to control the spasms at that level.

Can i check does anyone know if there are muscles this high up that cause spasming? Or is it maybe that I am hitting/poking something that is making the muscles lower down spasm and it just feels like this is higher up? It really does feel like there is another higher ring of muscle but maybe I am completely wrong and my brain/body is tricking me! It would just be nice to know for sure, but regardless it’s something I need to keep working on.

As my 5th dilator isn’t causing me any issues (i have no burning etc.) I was thinking about buying a wider size to start working with. I see soul source sell individual and part sets of dilators so this may be an option rather than buying another full set. Might be good to try a different shape also, as my current dilators are slightly tapered at the top and maybe it would be helpful to work with something that is broader and try to exercise the entrance muscle a bit more. Just wondering if anyone had any opinion on the soul source dilators?

Thank you!

[katon0333]

Thanks Melissa and Heather for the replies. Some really helpful options from both of you! I will work my way through and hopefully one of them will benefit me. It’s maybe a bit of fear of the unknown as well, I’m hoping that as I getting more used to the feeling I will start to become a bit more desensitized. I need to keep thinking positively about the progress I have made so far! Just touching on the yoga option, I have been attending classes for the past 8 months and I do think it has played a part in the small progress I have made already. Thanks again for your advice and support, I really appreciate it!

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