[juliefrance]

@recessivegenequeen Not sure about how legal these sex workers are. I was referenced to this one through my therapist. I’ve never seen an actual advertisement from sex workers myself here in France. It’s really a niche IMHO and I wonder how many single women suffering from vaginismus are seeking help. I personally know a girl who has vaginismus but she doesn’t want to do anything about it and prefers to stay alone. She’s okay with that. Only singles with the intention of finding another partner will probably seek a therapist.

[juliefrance]

Hi sunnysonya,

Yes, it was my therapist who told me about the existence of sex workers trained to work with vaginismus patients. I don’t know if this is something that exists in all countries, and I even don’t know if this is allowed or tolerated by law in France. I was just given the name and phone number of someone who did this and I can tell your I was super nervous to call this guy. At the end I’m glad I did though.

As another person wrote here before, they accompany you in the process of learning to be intimate with someone. Their purpose is to take away all fears you might have, and this can be very broad, from insecurities concerning how your body looks like till not knowing how you can sexually please someone. My sex worker went step by step. Even showing my naked body to him was already a giant step at the start – I was really convinced he was going to run away when he saw my saggy boobs or my peach skin on my legs. While he touched me he taught me how things worked and how we could excite each other. At the end we had sex. That felt kind of weird and liberating at the same time. Weird because I wasn’t in love with him and it was purely a technical act, but also liberating since this was the first time I was able to have real sex with someone. He was also the first one to give me an orgasm, I never managed to do that myself. In reality they are a mixture between a pelvic floor therapist, sex ed and a psychologist.

What I really liked is that he was someone I could trust and had a lot of experience with vaginismus patients. If you’re single and you’ve finished your therapy, having to explain to a new partner you never had sex can be REALLY intimidating and you’re basically using your new boyfriend to test if everything works again. That is not the case with a sex worker.

If you’ve got other questions, I’m happy to answer them.

[juliefrance]

Thanks Mark for sharing your story. I’ve made use of a similar service during the last weeks of my treatment plan, since I was single at that time. I have nothing but positive words to describe my experience with my sex worker. He was the first guy I had sex with, but at the end that wasn’t the most important thing. He taught me lots and lots more. I had a super low self esteem and I hated my body, but somehow he succeeded in convincing me I had a normal body after all. He learned me how I had to masturbate him, by giving clear and direct instructions, something a boyfriend would probably never do. We used a mirror to discover how my vulva looked like, and he managed to give me my very first orgasm (at the age of 32!). As I said, nothing but positive words and I can recommend this to everyone who is struggling with vaginismus and needs to deal with the situation without a partner.

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