[Jess567]

Hey Dishaz, sorry to hear that your therapy experience did not go well. I’m currently still in therapy for vaginismus and I too have experienced getting stuck at a certain size and not being able to progress for a long time. Which is incredibly disheartening and frustrating.

Obviously, everyone is different, but I wanted to mention a couple things that helped me in case they may be able to assist you as well. I’m finally making progress again after lots of stretching (my hips are tight and stretching them also helps loosen my pelvic floor) and experimenting with the angle of insertion; it helps me to lay flat with my legs propped up on an exercise ball. But the biggest thing is that I recently went to a new gynecologist and was diagnosed with vulvodynia on top of the vaginismus. She prescribed me topical gabapentin that I apply in my vagina, and this has helped tremendously, more than anything else. There was always a spot that was rather sore and tender and I couldn’t push past without a lot of pain and the gabapentin has mostly resolved this. I’m not saying that you have the same reason for not progressing as me but that there may be more treatments/options out there to help you. I know you had physical therapists, but have you had an appointment with a gynecologist who has experience with vaginismus? It sounds like the doctor that you went to was more concerned with how it impacted your husband and wasn’t very understanding towards you. Unfortunately, it can be hard to find doctors familiar with the condition and I don’t know how insurance and medical visits work in your country but if you are able to find a gynecologist who has worked with vaginismus patients before, they may be able to provide some other treatment options to help you make progress.

I hope that things are improving for you and I’m sorry that you are going through this.

[Jess567]

I agree, vaginismus does not have to equal no sex life! It can be a little more challenging to find things that you like but there are lots of options.

[Jess567]

I am located in the US so I know that our healthcare systems are different but I can tell you what I did and maybe it will be of some help. Unfortunately a lot of doctors, even gynecologists, are not familiar with vaginismus. I definitely went to a couple gynecologists who did not know what it was and did not take it seriously which was frustrating. It may take more effort but it is worth it to find someone who is familiar with the condition.

What I did was directly call doctors offices and asked the receptionists if the doctor was familiar with the condition, sometimes they are able to check with the doctor and call you back so you can decide whether they may be a good fit for you. I had mixed results with this, but sometimes it works. I actually found my current doctor by calling a physical therapy place that I knew did pelvic floor physical therapy and asking them if they knew of any doctors in the area who were familiar with vaginismus. They gave me the name of a doctor who referred patients to them. I would google search gynecologists and physical therapy places that offer ‘womens health’, ‘vaginismus’, or ‘pelvic floor’ services on their websites and start from there.

I hope you are able to find a doctor who is familiar with these issues soon!

[Jess567]

I agree with Heather that stretching is really important. A book that has been really helpful to me is ‘Sex without Pain’ by Heather Jeffcoat. It has a stretching routine in it and other advice (and is a super short, easy read). I do ‘Yoga with Adriene’ on Youtube as she has a lot of stuff for beginners and my physical therapist recommended her videos but there are lots of videos from other people as well to chose from that would be helpful.

I hope we are allowed to post links here? If not I will remove this, but this might be helpful for you to figure out dilators that work for you: http://mazewomenshealth.com/whats-new/recommended-products/dilators/

[Jess567]

Yes, dilating afterwards might help. I haven’t tried using a compress down there, good idea!

[Jess567]

Welcome to the forum, Hazel! As someone who also has vaginismus, I have found this forum quite helpful and I hope you do too! I don’t know anything about Pregabalin but maybe someone else who does will reply.

I have had issues with vaginismus since I started having penetrative sex at the age of 22 and it can impact women of all ages. I have never had lube that causes burning before but there are a lot of options so maybe you can try another kind? Slippery Stuff is a frequently recommended brand.

I’m not a medical professional but did your doctor mention pelvic floor physical therapy? It is definitely worth looking into if you can. Your physical therapist will probably give you some stretches and dilation exercises to do.

[Jess567]

Sorry for the delay in responding, but I wanted to thank everyone for the input and support! I’m glad to have found this forum. I won’t have much access to the internet for the next two weeks due to travel but I will make sure to check in after I return.

I did order ‘Sex without Pain’ and have read through it. She did mention that she usually works from the inside-out but some women need to work from the outside-in due to various issues. I think I am one of those women due to previous injuries. I have a lot of other pelvic pain and I really struggle to make progress internally (and sometimes regress) if I am having pain or tightness anywhere in that area. So I am currently focusing on daily stretching (both stretches from the book and ones that my physical therapist recommended) along with some foam rolling. I can already feel some positive differences in my hips so it seems promising. It was actually a relief to read that some women need to address the larger muscle groups first as it seems to explain some of the issues I have been having.

[Jess567]

Thank you for replying! My physical therapist did suggest some stretches and exercises for at home. Admittedly – I don’t do them as often as I should anymore, but even when I did them quite regularly it just didn’t seem like enough. It is possible that I was too impatient but I am definitely interested in learning some other techniques. I have ordered the ‘Sex Without Pain’ book and am hopeful that it will be helpful.

There are some pelvic health physical therapists here so I will see if I can set up something with one of them. I would really like to find a gynecologist who is familiar with vaginismus as I have had some unpleasant experiences with ones who weren’t. Even the one who referred me to a physical therapist didn’t really seem to understand the condition. I’m going to be much more picky this time as I live in a larger city now and there are many more doctors here. Thank you for taking the time to reply and I appreciate your suggestions!

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