[Dawn]

Hi, Hansen09. I have to apologize that I do not come onto this forum frequently enough. I just saw your post. I had a very severe case of vaginismus but was able to successfully overcome it due to Dr. Pacik’s amazing work. I was married for 12 years before having the procedure (with no penetration prior to procedure). Long story short, I have been cured. Don’t get me wrong. I still have to dilate before any kind of ob/gyn exam and still tend to get nervous before any kind of exam. After my procedure and once I was able to achieve full penetration (which took several months), I immediately underwent fertility treatment (I am 39). Luckily, we were successful on the first try. I will say that the thought of physically birthing a child terrified me. However, what helped me was to focus on all the positives and fun aspects of having a child such as the great gear and just reading books about all aspects baby. I knew from the start I was going to get an epidural no matter what! I was determined not to feel a thing. Once I was brave enough, I started reading about epidurals and the birth process and of course, went to birth classes offered by the hospital. And surprisingly, I started to relax about it. I focused on positive thoughts – I was going to get that epidural and would feel NOTHING while pushing. Or, I would have a c-section and feel nothing. I was going to have the PERFECT birth experience, I kept telling myself. I came to the realization that even if there were to be some pain, it would pass, just like anything else. Unfortunately, once we go into labor, we lose control over our bodies. No matter what, that baby is going to come out and your body is going to handle it. Our bodies CAN handle it, no matter what. Again, this is what I kept saying to myself. Now I’m not one of those people who has ever told anyone about my vaginismus. However, I will say that anyone who is or has been pregnant will tell you how they too, are/were scared to death of the birthing process. So talking to others also helped me realize it’s not just me, it’s not just about the vaginismus. My son was born in 2013 via c-section (unplanned). So I suppose I was “lucky” in a sense. But I will tell you I was shocked to find that once I went into labor, I did not panick. I did not fear the pushing. I still did not think I would feel pain. I was convinced it would all work out. Now, this took a lot of convincing over the 9 months. But I do think you are capable and can do it. Trust me when I say it. And if you have to, keep changing docs until you find someone who either understands your situation or can sympathize with you. It helps to go to an ob with a good bedside manner. I know it’s tough. I’m still not exactly thrilled with the entire practice I go to, but there are 2 or 3 docs I have had decent experiences with at the practice. I actually found a phenomenal doc I really liked prior to pregnancy and unfortunately switched from her practice only due to the fact she did not deliver at my preferred hospital. The only other thing I might suggest is sharing what state you reside in and maybe by chance, someone on here may happen to live in the same area and can suggest a great doc. You never know. I know you posted this awhile back, so I hope you see this. I wish you luck and know that we have all been there. You can do this, I promise. Keep looking for the right doc, he/she is out there. If you have any questions or want to talk/rant about pregnancy or whatever, please feel free to ask! Again, good luck! You will be great!

[Dawn]

Same here, Heather. I love outdoor activities too – running, hiking, kayaking, paddle boarding, skiing, etc. So excited that it is getting warm already. We love to hang out by the firepit, relax on our deck that was just redone! We are hoping to add a jacuzzi by 4th of July too! Thanks for all your posts and for letting the rest of us know we are not alone! Glad we have more in common than just vaginismus!

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