[coldasice]

Blueclouds, after reading this I want to give you a big hug because you seem to have gone through a lot in your life. Thanks for posting this.

Your story reminds be a lot of a diary/book I’ve read a few years ago, written by a girl that was raped by her uncle when she was 14 or 15. She did more or less the same thing as you did: share the bed with as many guys as she could, without actually having sex. Her “revenge” was to masturbate those guys but never finish them and kick them out of her house afterwards before they had the opportunity to come. So unless you’re the author of that book, you’re not the only one who came up with this idea.

I hope you’ve feeling better now.

[coldasice]

Thanks for bringing this up.

To Maze: why not create a section about this on your website and help bringing this out in the open?

In general: did you know male sexual dysfunctions are even more common than vaginismus? Almost every single guy has issues with sexual dysfunctions at a certain point in his life, but we rarely talk about this (or when we do, we usually laugh about it).

For most types of dysfunctions (loss of erection, not able to get an erection, ejaculating too soon or too late) special exercises are available you can do with your partner. My advice is to talk about the issues your partner has outside of a sexual context.

[coldasice]

Mark, may I add that I find the work you’re doing AMAZING?

I had to laugh when you wrote about shaving our pubic hair – I usually do that when I have to go to the gyn and I always wonder why… cause she must have seen thousands of hairy vagina’s… so why shave? It’s something we do because we THINK it should be done. So it’s amazing to read that’s one of the first things you say to women.

[coldasice]

It’s easy. When you’re on your period, you don’t swim. In schools for instance, a note from the parents is enough to let their daughter not participate. Yes, this means your school mates will probably able to guess you’re having your period, but so what?

Most of my colleagues at work are female and I usually know when they are menstruating. Not because they tell me, but because they take a pad out of their purse and take the pad to the toilet, without hiding it. That’s something you see a lot where I work. Not sure if you’re that open in the States.

[coldasice]

I’ve read some interesting things here and I want to add my own experience.

I’ve lived for 20 years in Finland, which is known for its sexual liberalism. Nudity is normal here. In sauna’s and pools, being naked around friends and colleagues is generally accepted. Teens invite their friends for pool parties. By the time I was 18, I saw all my classmates naked – yes, all sexes mixed together. No one cares. You get to see so many different body types you don’t even care how you look like yourself 🙂 Sex ed is very explicit when compared to the States. Books for teens contain passages with instructions on how to masturbate. My own mother explained to me how I should masturbate, and my father did the same with my brother. And I can assure you that was not the “explore yourself” stuff you always here, but clear instructions on what you should touch for how long and in what way. So yes, I was used to seeing quite a lot when I started dating.

However. At the same time, it’s ‘not done’ to insert things in your vagina. I don’t know why, it’s not recommended, not encouraged… during talks about masturbation for instance, the attention goes to the clitoris and not a single instruction will tell you to inserting things. You’ll hardly find young teens using tampons, or teens using vibrators… which at the same time means the first time sex becomes way more important when compared to the States because most girls have still intact hymens, have pain when they have sex for the first time, etc… so there are pro’s and cons.

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