Tampons still Painful/Impossible yet dilators working

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    I have the Intimate Rose small set and have successfully conquered size 1 and 2. I just got my first period since using the dilators so I thought putting in a small tampon would be a walk in the park. (For reference the small tampon is the same size as size 1 dilator)

    However, it was next to impossible to insert. I even used lube and laid down like I do for dilating. But I felt like I kept hitting a wall. When I finally got it in – it was pretty uncomfortable having it inside me. I immediately took it out. I’m pretty frustrated because I thought I would finally be able to use tampons but it feels so uncomfortable. Or maybe the silicon dilators are just more comfortable/what I’m used to at the moment?

    Feeling pretty hopeless and like I’m starting from scratch again…


    Hi jillybean – first of all, congratulations on the progress you’ve made so far with the dilators, that is huge! I worked with dilators several years ago when I was dealing with vaginismus, and I just have to say that for me personally, inserting tampons has been harder than any other part of dealing with vaginismus for whatever reason! I had way less issues with penetrative intercourse than I did with tampons.

    I DON’T say this to discourage you, but rather because I hope you won’t think having trouble with tampons means dilation overall is going badly because it sounds like you are moving right along. The thing about tampons that’s is tricky is that it’s not just about inserting a tampon, but that the ANGLE of insertion needs to be very precise for it to not feel misplaced and irritating. It’s possible to do well but just takes more practice than you would expect to get the angle exactly perfect. The way I’ve heard it explained is that you need to point the tip of the applicator toward the small of your back as you insert it, but this is sort of a hard thing to actually do when you can’t precisely see what you’re doing.

    As someone who also struggled with tampons, my suggestion would just be not to rush into them if you’re able – it’s easy to get discouraged when you’re partway through dilating by setbacks like these and it genuinely is a different skillset than just working with dilators, even though the dilators are larger. I had this exact moment partway through the dilation process but just wasn’t ready yet. The crucial point is that the tampon stays in for hours and while you’re up and about living your life, so it’s a different thing to get used to.

    I really hope this helps! I am now able to get a tampon in when I need to, but they have never been my favorite and there’s a chance they won’t be your go-to menstrual product in future. But I wish you the best of luck and hope dilating continues to go well!

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