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    I know this forum is usually used for people seeking help (which I have poured over numerous times for support) but I just had to share some good news! I have struggled with vaginismus for almost 10 years; I have never been able to insert anything into my vagina, let alone have sex, which was one of the reasons my long-term boyfriend and I broke up. However, that was a huge wake up call for me. Nearly 2 years ago I decided in that moment that I would actively try to seek out ways to overcome my vaginismus.

    I made an appointment with my gynecologist shortly after and received zero help with treatment. When I told the doctor I was worried I had vaginismus, she did not seem concerned and insisted I complete a Pap Smear anyway. I could tell how frustrated she was when I flinched in response to her attempting to insert the speculum in me, but I was in so much pain. I started to cry and she did nothing to console me or offer advice, except for say “Yea you probably have vaginismus, come back another time to try again.” In that moment I felt so alone and realized I would have to do this mostly on my own.

    After reading advice on this forum, I decided to try dilators. Like I said, it’s been nearly two years, and honestly I’ve only gone up two sizes in the dilators, but I can tell it’s getting easier! In fact the good news I have to share today is that for the past 3 days I have (finally) been able to use tampons for the first time! This has never happened before and given that I started my period over 10 years ago this was a huge step for me.

    I still have a long way to go, but I am so proud of myself. Trust me, if I can learn to do it, so can you. Don’t give up! And remember that vaginismus does not define you! You are so worthy. Thanks for reading!

    Helen Leff, LCSW

    Dear coco1996,
    Congrats on your victory! Being able to use a tampon is awesome progress. Your message of support to everyone on this forum is as important as reaching out for help. When women share their success stories as you just have and when you say “Trust me,if I can learn to do it,so can you. Don’t give up!” that’s incredibly helpful and greatly appreciated.


    Congratulations!! Progress has no constant speed, it is different for everyone. But it is still progress and that is amazing! Making the decision to tackle this condition and go down this road is a huge step! I’ve been there, done that and it isn’t an easy road. But achievable! What I found helpful with dilating was Googling yoga stretches for pelvic tension and your pelvic floor muscles. They’re easy to do on the floor, on your carpet or a yoga mat! Also, theres a breathing technique that opens up your vagina by breathing deeply, and slowly in through your mouth, filling up your stomach with oxygen and not your lungs. When your stomach is at it’s highest and you can’t take anymore air in, insert your dilator. Once inserted, you may exhale slowly and allow every part of your body to relax and at this point you can slide your dilator out, but not all the way. Before you slide it back in, fill your belly. When you slide it out, exhale. This breathing technique helped me so much. I hope it helps you! Good luck, girl! You got this!


    coco1996, congratulations!!! This is fantastic news and you should be really proud of yourself. You’ve come a long way and every journey is different, but you’ve shown yourself how far you can get through your own strength and efforts. Keep it up, we’re so happy for you@

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