Rules of the Road

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  • #8950
    mmHeather34
    Moderator

    In an excellent post, Dr. Pacik writes the following:

    “Vaginismus is both a psychologic and a physiologic condition requiring treatment in these areas to be successful. The fear and anxiety associated with vaginismus appears to cause the entry muscle to go into spasm. The brain says “pain with entry” and the body appears to create a protective reflex in which the vagina says “no entry”. The combination of a medical treatment using Botox injections and dilators for the physical problem, and post procedure counseling, for the psychologic problem, allows women to have a functional vagina. Remember that the vagina was created to achieve intercourse and to allow a baby’s head to pass through.

    Rules of the Road

    1. If a doctor recommends surgery for vaginismus, get a second opinion (and a third opinion). This includes any cutting including hymenectomies.

    2. If you are told it is all in your head, stand tall and say NO. It may start that way, but the problem is a physical one in that the entry muscle is too tight (usually in spasm) and that’s why penetration is like “hitting a wall”.

    3. Become an advocate and let the world know about vaginismus. This is perhaps the most easily cured sexual pain disorder. Speak up. Send articles to magazines, get on radio talk shows and send information to the TV networks. Share your story, it is very powerful. Join Forums and become educated. Participate and get active on our own Forum and become an active participant. Knowledge is power. When patients know more about this condition then their doctors, the doctors will be required to learn about this.

    4. Ask, ask, ask. Keep asking questions until you get the right answers. Don’t settle for less. Become so educated in vaginismus that you can give the lecture.

    5. Don’t let anyone intimidate you. If a doctor or nurse makes you feel “less than” find another professional who is wise enough to counsel you.

    Together we can tear down the walls of silence and ignorance that surround this condition. The vets who have been successful need to become active participants in our own Forum as well as the many other Forums available on Yahoo. One day it is possible that vaginismus will be as easy to say as “erectile dysfunction” and when that day comes women who are in bondage will be freed.”

    What do these Rules of the Road mean to you in your journey of overcoming vaginismus?

    #11952
    Becca
    Participant

    I love this. I have been wondering for a while what I could do to help make it more known about, and more acceptable. I hate the shame and silence associated with this, and for no reason! 🙁 I mean, yes, it is REALLY embarrassing, painful, and shameful to talk about – at least for me – but my point is that it shouldn’t be. It is so sad to suffer in silence for so many years.

    I too have become an advocate for myself. I have suffered with medical problems my entire life and learned around the age of 19 that I needed to start standing up for myself. The first doctor I saw for this problem ignored me. I tried to talk to her a couple times about it and when she continually said I needed to relax and it would happen eventually I quit seeing her. How can I go to a doctor that won’t actually listen or believe what I’m saying? I wouldn’t be spending my money to go to the Doctor if I didn’t know in my gut there was a problem. Thankfully, through the counselor I was seeing, I found an AMAZING obgyn that I love and she has been a huge blessing.

    #11975
    mmHeather34
    Moderator

    This is such a wonderful post. You wrote “I wonder what I could do to help make it more known and more acceptable.” You already have and do so much in terms of advocacy with all of your wonderful posts on this Forum. There are so many women who may be like I was in the past, reading that yahoo forum and finding hope through the posts, but not writing myself at the time. I still drew great strength from reading these posts and it also gave me so much hope at the time that I too would be able to overcome. I would’ve never learned of Dr. Pacik’s treatment without belonging to a Forum and following these posts. Everything that you have written in your posts may be something that so many other women are experiencing at this very moment but are afraid to write about. You are giving words to their feelings and helping in so many ways!!!! :):):)

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