New Blog: Coping with Mothers Day and Infertility

[Janet Pacik]

Hi Everyone,

There is an excellent new blog posted today, titled “Mother’s Day and Infertility after Botox Treatment for Vaginismus”.

Excerpts from the blog include:

“If pregnancy doesn’t necessarily happen in the time frame expected due to infertility after Botox treatment for vaginismus, the approaching Mother’s Day holiday can be especially difficult. Infertility seems so unfair after conquering the huge obstacle of vaginismus. Mother’s Day can be a painful reminder to those who struggle with infertility and want so desperately to become pregnant and have their own little bundle of joy.”

It would be wonderful to hear from our Forum members to hear about your experiences with infertility and coping with Mother’s Day.

[Nakitalab]

Thank you for posting this blog. Mother’s Day was the hardest day of the year for me when we were struggling with infertility. Going to church was especially hard as they handed out flowers to Mothers and the sermon was all about being a Mom. I remember thinking how unfair it was that my husband and I could not conceive yet there were thousands of unwanted pregnancies every year. And what about all the children in the world who have parents who don’t love them and abuse them both physically and mentally. Why were they allowed to have children when loving couples like my husband and I who wanted so desperately to have a baby and could provide a loving home be denied what everyone else takes for granted. I remember that I had studied everything there was to know about conception and when someone I knew became pregnant I would think…do they really know what a miracle it was that they were able to become pregnant? The average person has no idea what a miracle it truly is for everything to be lined up perfectly in order for that magical moment when conception takes place. Something I learned is that you need to take care of yourself and honor your feelings….especially on Mother’s Day. If it is too hard and painful for you to go to church on that day, please don’t go. God totally understands what you are feeling and going through. He is not keeping score as to whether or not you attended church on Sunday. Pamper yourself on Mother’s Day instead. If you feel like staying in your pjs all day and watch movies…do it. If you want to be in the outdoors and enjoy nature, do it. If you want to go out to a fancy dinner and celebrate your relationship with your significant other…do it. Most importantly take care of YOU. Everything you are feeling is real and valid and its ok to not do things that will only cause you more hurt feelings. Please take care of YOU this coming weekend. My heart goes out to every woman who is going through this. Please know that I am here for you. Let your feelings out. You can share with me and others who are going through this here on the Forum. You are not alone. Please honor your feelings this weekend and do something that will make you feel good about you. Sending you lots of love and support.

[GoldDahlia]

This is such a great post, Nakitalab. While my husband and I have not yet had intercourse to try to conceive, your comments about the pain of Mother’s Day still resonate with us as sufferers of primary vaginismus. I feel horrible about it, but there have unfortunately been countless occasions where I’ve plastered on a fake-excited smile when hearing about pregnancies around me. Your ideas for taking care of yourself are very good and I hope any other women who are struggling with sadness and frustration about not being able to conceive will be able to use them to celebrate who they are as a person and as a woman rather than focusing on motherhood.