Feeling stuck & stressed

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  • #23871
    Sarabelle
    Participant

    Hi guys! I’m completely new to this support group. I was looking for a vaginismus support group in NYC but surprisingly had no luck with locating one (if anyone happens to know of one within the city please do let me know).I was recently diagnosed with Vaginismus and Vulvodynia. I also had a vaginectomy 6 months ago. I recently started PT and am feeling really discouraged when using the dilators.I made it to the 3inch one but there’s a raw burning sensation upon insertion, regardless of how many breathing exercise I do. I’m sorry for this rant.I just feel really discouraged.I’m in my early twenties and I feel like I’m unworthy of being loved because of this bizarre condition.If anyone has any advice on how to cope with any of this please reach out.

    Thank you –

    Stressed

    #23874
    recessivegenequeen
    Participant

    Hi Stressed – I’m so sorry for all you’ve been through. I used to live in NYC but never found a formal vaginismus support group, which is a real shame. It’s good that we have the forums online, even if we can’t meet up in real life. I’m impressed you were able to insert the dilators; that’s a good sign, even if it’s uncomfortable at first. If you’re feeling too much burning, be sure you’re using enough lube and don’t be afraid to go down a size for awhile and build up more confidence. I know how hard it is to be patient, but it’s so important to respect the length of time this journey takes because the best thing you can do is be patient with yourself.

    Vaginismus can be hard and isolating, but it does NOT make you unlovable. There are people out there who will love you enough to help you figure this out or won’t see you as lesser than. It’s a problem that can feel so isolating, but you’re far from alone. Keep the faith and keep working! You’ve already been brave and that will take you far.

    #23876
    mmHelen Leff, LCSW
    Moderator

    Hi Stressed and recessivegenequeen. I find it so inspiring when someone who has been successful with dilation can shore up and encourage someone who is going through this challenging process. Stressed, you are not alone. If you would like a 10 minute free consult with someone on the Maze staff please give us a call.

    #23894
    Jay2014
    Participant

    Hi stressed- I understand what you going through.. I’m on the same boat. I started a month or so ago and at first it was going well.. but as the dilatora keep getting bigger I feel like this may not work. Some days are great and there’s no pain or burning and I get hyped..then the next day I will do the same exact thing but the experiment is different and it hurts and I sit understand. I’m starting therapy sessions this week too.. maybe it will help. I’m also in NYC and feel just as discouraged sometimes. But let’s keep pushing through!

    #23895
    Jay2014
    Participant

    Hi stressed- I understand what you going through.. I’m on the same boat. I started a month or so ago and at first it was going well.. but as the dilators keep getting bigger I feel like this may not work. Some days are great and there’s no pain or burning and I get hyped..then the next day I will do the same exact thing but the experience is different and it hurts and I just don’t understand. I’m starting therapy sessions this week too.. maybe it will help. I’m also in NYC and feel just as discouraged sometimes. But let’s keep pushing through!

    #23896
    Sarabelle
    Participant

    Hey!

    Thank you for taking the time to respond to my post.I don’t know if this is an odd proposal but would you be interested in potentially meeting up in person? I feel incredibly isolated by this condition and would feel a million times better if I were to speak to someone in person who is also experiencing living with this frustrating condition. I hope this doesn’t come off as odd! The lack of support groups within the NYC area is really getting to me. Also, if you’re against this idea, no worries! I won’t be personally offended.

    Best

    Sara

    #23909
    recessivegenequeen
    Participant

    I just want to say I’m a bit jealous! I used to live in NYC and would have loved to have met someone else with vaginismus in real life. Whether you ladies choose to meet or not, know that there are those of us out there in all corners of the country (and the world) who understand what you’ve been through and are cheering for you every step of the way!

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