Day 10 of Skype-only counseling

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  • #8817
    Vashalla
    Participant

    About 10 days ago, I officially started working with Dr. Pacik through just Skype counseling. I’m “only” a level 1 on the Lamont scale, meaning I can have a gyno exam, but still can’t have sex. Despite that, I hadn’t been able to progress beyond the #4 (and on a rare occasion, the #5) dilator in the pure romance set before starting counseling. A lot of that had to do with lack of motivation and lack of accountability. Both my boyfriend and I have low libidos, and dilation always seemed so time consuming and cumbersome. Luckily, because of the low-level of severity of my vaginismus, Dr. Pacik agreed to do Skype only counseling for me instead of having me come in for the full botox treatment.

    So far, it’s going pretty good, despite what I’m about to say next. The first day, I just tried sleeping with the #3 silicone dilator, and that was a disaster. I couldn’t sleep at all and had to take it out 4 1/2 hours after putting it in. I was so tired the next day from lack of sleep, but I intended to try sleeping with it again in a couple of nights. I’d been told that as I get used to the dilators, it becomes easier and easier to sleep with them in. I actually figured out later that the #4 glass dilator was more comfortable than the #3 silicone because of the shorter length.

    Day two was also pretty frustrating. I started with the #4 glass dilator and had that in for about 30 minutes. Then, I tried inserting the #5 dilator, and it just wasn’t working at all. Frustrated and crying, I put the #4 back in and left it in for 45 minutes. After that, I was able to get the #5 in, but could only leave it in for 5 minutes; it was just too uncomfortable. As Dr. Pacik says though, 5 minutes is better than no minutes, so I resolved to count that as a success, even though I wasn’t in a great mood because of it.

    Fast forward to now on day 10, and I’m currently half sitting, half on my side at my computer with the #5 glass dilator in. Also, I got an almost normal night’s sleep last night with the #4 glass dilator. Only woke up a few time to change positions, which I normally do anyway. As of tonight, I’m able to walk almost kind of normally with the #5 in, and the #4 was a breeze. If all continues to go well, I may try to go for the #6 this weekend! Progress is definitely being made!

    #11091
    coffee
    Participant

    That’s great!!!!!!

    #11092
    Allie
    Participant

    Amazing progress in just 10 days! Way to go!! 🙂

    #11094
    mmHeather34
    Moderator

    This is so AWESOME to read Vashalla! Way to go! Dr. Pacik’s Remote Supported Dilation Therapy program seems like an excellent option for you as you have a level 1 on the Lamont Scale. It’s wonderful and also very inspirational to others to see your progress. In the beginning, there were challenges yet, despite this, you moved forward and now have made tremendous progress with #5 and may even try #6. This is seriously wonderful in only 10-days! Keep up the great work and I can’t wait to read more of your posts!!!!

    #11105
    Vashalla
    Participant

    On day 14 (yesterday), I was able to get the #6 dilator in! 😀

    My normal dilation routine has been to start with the #4 for about 20 minutes, and then move up to the #5 for the rest of the period. Just to give all of this some context, I use the glass dilators and insert them while sitting on the toilet, like I’m putting in a tampon. I’ve found a lot of success that way. I do all my dilation at once in the evenings usually, just because it works better with my work schedule. I’ve been doing really well with it, and it only takes me maybe 30 seconds to a minute to get each of those sizes in. It’s been easier and easier to walk with them in and take care of dinner and other chores. Yesterday morning, I had the house to myself, and I decided to try putting in the #5 first. I felt confident that I could do it without having to use the #4 first. Took a little more work to get the #5 in than usual, but not bad – only a minute maybe to insert. I left that in for about 40 minutes before trying the #6. The #6 took a lot more work to get in. I did lots of kegel exercises and tried the pushing out technique. It hurt a little bit trying to get it in, but I never let the pain get past a tolerable level. If it got to be too much, I backed off and did some more kegels. Doing it this way really only took 5-10 minutes, though I wouldn’t have been at all surprised if it had taken 30 minutes. Going from the #5 to the #6 was a huge step mentally and physically for me. Once it finally slid in, I was pretty happily surprised. I took a couple of Aleve for the little bit of soreness I was feeling and planned to just lie in bed reading for the rest of the time. As soon as I lied down on the bed though, I had a small panic attack because it actually hurt being in that position with the #6 in. That was a surprise. I fought to keep my panic from rising and overwhelming me and honestly, just barely succeeded in doing so. I just kept telling myself that it’s ok, this pain is temporary, and as soon as I get up, it’ll go away, because it didn’t really hurt when I was standing just now. Lesson learned though – missionary position will NOT be a good idea when my boyfriend and I transition to intercourse. I managed to calm myself down and stand back up where it was more comfortable. Then I just sat in bed reading for almost 2 hours. It wasn’t the most comfortable thing, but it was tolerable once I finally positioned myself just right, and the book was a decent distraction.

    #11106
    Vashalla
    Participant

    An addendum to all this after speaking with Dr. Pacik this morning and reflecting further on yesterday’s dilation, I do think next time that I’ll start with the #4 for at least a few minutes, and then move up from there. Will let you all know how that goes!

    #11108
    Allie
    Participant

    Hi Vashalla! Congrats on getting up to 6! That’s amazing! You are doing so great and it will only get easier & less painful each day!! I’m so happy for you!

    Also, you mentioned that the missionary position wouldn’t be a good position when you transition to intercourse, and that was definitely true for me! Once you feel ready the best position where I felt as though I had control and no pain was woman on top. Just keep taking one day at a time! Once again, very happy for you, you are doing amazing!!

    #11113
    mmHeather34
    Moderator

    Hi Vashalla! Wow, you are making incredible progress in such a short amount of time! Amazing! A thread that may be helpful for you to view is:

    Positions of Comfort Post-Vaginismus

    http://www.vaginismusmd.com/vaginismus-md-forum/?mingleforumaction=viewtopic&t=217

    Can’t wait to read more of your posts.

    #11118
    Vashalla
    Participant

    Thanks Heather! The link didn’t take me straight there for some odd reason, but I did a search for “Positions of Comfort Post-Vaginismus” and found the thread (and several others) that you’re talking about. That’s very helpful to read through those, and it gives me lots of ideas that my boyfriend and I can try to help us when we decide to transition.

    #11119
    Vashalla
    Participant

    Another pretty good night of dilating tonight 😀
    I started with the #4 this time for 15 minutes, and then did the #5 for 45 minutes before moving up to the #6 for an hour. It was a smoother transition this time and far less painful/sore since I started smaller, I think. I found that with the #6, it was a tiny bit sore for the first 10-15 minutes and then almost all of that went away. It was also a lot more comfortable for me to stand and waddle around with that one in than it was to sit on the bed. I’m sure that’ll get better over time though. Oh, and I could walk pretty darn normally with the #4 and #5 with no discomfort, really!

    #11121
    Nakitalab
    Participant

    Vashalla, you are doing so good! It is great how you are being persistent and dilating every night and working through the discomfort. As you have already found each day it will get a little bit easier and less uncomfortable. Like Allie, I found that woman on top is more comfortable and helps me to feel more in control, not so intimidating. The other position that I’m comfortable with is the side by side one. Not sure if that is the right name for it. You are doing fantastic Vashalla! Looking forward to reading your posts.

    #11124
    mmHeather34
    Moderator

    This is so great Vashalla! I just edited my post to fix the link for the Positions of Comfort Post Vaginismus. I’m glad you found it useful and you are making just tremendous progress. When I first started dilating, I also found the largest dilators to be a tiny bit uncomfortable for the first 10 minutes and then I got caught up in doing something (i.e. watching a movie with the hubby, etc.) and after no time at all, this soreness/discomfort faded and I didn’t even think about it anymore. I also think it’s so cool that you are walking about with them in with no discomfort! This is seriously awesome and AMAZING. I always used the pure romance dilators following my procedure and walking around with them in was quite the adventure and funny to see (per hubby). Lol. But, now, when I dilate prior to ob/gyn exams, I always use the smaller glass dilators and have had no issues walking with them. Sitting is another story! I always try to sit on the side of my leg (i.e. while driving or sitting upright with them in) but I, too, would love to know of a more comfortable position to use while sitting with the dilator in or if anyone has had success with using a pillow? Keep up the great work Vashalla and I can’t wait to read more of your posts. :):):)

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