Miranda, welcome to the forums! We’ve had other people bring this up on the forums elsewhere (here’s an example):

Sexual frustration actually worse than vaginismus itself?

Other women have said they experience major pain and discomfort from being stimulated but not experiencing the release of an orgasm. I think Melissa’s suggestion to work with a pelvic floor therapist is a good one. Also, if you’ve never used a vibrator, that can be a useful tool if you’ve never had an orgasm before – some women, especially those with vaginismus or other issues that make penetration painful, require more stimulation or control to have an orgasm.