Hey Han, my name is Syd, I’m from Canada and I’m new on this forum but I’m also 17 and in a 2 year relationship with my boyfriend. I totally get the idea of feeling broken trying to deal with all of this. My boyfriend and I tried having sex around age 15 (he’s a year older) and that feeling of hitting a brick wall was so intense that we didn’t even try again for a bit. I went to see some doctors and a gynaecologist and ended up being referred to a pelvic health physiotherapist. Despite my efforts to improve using dilators, sexual intercourse is still very painful and I feel constantly betrayed by my body. My boyfriend is very understanding and supportive, much like yours and I have the constant worry of him becoming uninterested. The best advice I can offer you from experience is to be open about the situation, communicate your feelings and never give up on yourself. Yes I still worry about not being able to ever have sex, not being able to get pregnant and not being able to wear a tampon but even just finding this forum has really helped me. It will take time and it will take effort but don’t give up on yourself and don’t stop working. If you need to support or someone to talk to I’m here for you. Remember, you are not anywhere close to broken, lots of women struggle with this. I’m sure you’re a wonderful person and vaginismus doesn’t define you. It took me a while to understand that and I know it’s hard to look at it in that light but you are not broken, you are a strong woman who can overcome this.
