Hi all! I really hope this forum is still in use because I just want to talk to people who understand what i’m going through.
When I was 15 I was sexually abused by my ex partner, this went on for about a year. 2 years after breaking up with him I had to get fenton’s procedure as there was a lot of scar tissue left over.
Now i’m 19 and I’m still having difficult getting anything inside my vagina. One of the gynaecologists suggested dilators at one point, the thought of them intimidated me but I’m so tired of the stress it’s causing me. I’m tired of feeling like I won’t ever have a healthy relationship with my body anymore. I’m tired of feeling like the one thing that was mine, privately mine, has been stolen from me. I want to feel “normal” (whatever that is) and I want to feel at one with my body again. I feel like my vagina is a foreign part of my body, kind of like a stranger that I want to get to know better but I just can’t. So today I have ordered myself some dilators. I’m scared in case i’ve just entered a whole new level of stress that I’ve not yet experienced. I just want to talk to someone who also has troubles, none of my friends have this problem and I feel so alone.
