[newlywed]

One last note: intercourse after birth has been sooo much more fun for me. I went to one or two sessions of pelvic floor PT to help strengthen and assess everything and make sure I didn’t “overtighten” the wrong muscles.

[newlywed]

Congratulations!! Just in case you haven’t had your baby yet, I wanted to share my story to encourage you. I got pregnant six months post procedure, and have since had two unmedicated births. The first birth was to a 9lb baby with a head circumference in the 99th percentile, and I did not even tear! The second baby, I birthed the head and body in the span of one contraction and did not tear that time either.

One small tip: knowing about my vaginismus, my provider injected a bit of lidocaine into the entry portion of my vagina during crowing phase for my firstborn. She said she did not inject much at all, and his head was finally born on the next push. I didn’t realize I was “holding” him back, but that little bit of help releasing those muscles was very helpful after having already pushed for quite some time by then (which could have also been because I was so exhausted for other reasons by then). So first birth was a success, and second was a cakewalk (at least, as far as child birthing goes 😉

I hope this is encouraging, and again, congratulations!!

[newlywed]

Following up post-baby: I did it! He was 9lbs and had a head circumference in the 97th percentile, and the only meds/assistance I had was a partial dose of lidocaine injected st the entry muscles after I was running out of energy to push (first time mom…30 hour labor starting after the work day…I remember exhaustion way more than any pain or discomfort). I didn’t even require stitches afterward. Totally doable, and I loved the experience.

I saw a pelvic floor physical therapist a few times during pregnancy, which was helpful in boosting my confidence for labor and knowing which exercises to do instead of just doing standard kegels. Also, the lidocaine at the end was a brilliant move by my midwife…I’d pushed for 6 hours, and his head was out after one push once she gave me just a tiny bit of lidocaine injected into the right spot.

All that just to say, if anyone wants an unmedicated birth post-vaginismus, it is totally doable (and our sex life has been WAY better since).

[newlywed]

Thank you both! That is very encouraging to hear!

[newlywed]

Thanks! Recessive gene queen, it is so encouraging to hear that you’re out pretty much all positions feel comfortable. That’s been the biggest thing I’ve been wondering. We are getting to the point that sex is not usually painful, and certain positions work very well for me being able to feel comfortable and even climax. But we are still pretty limited in terms of what really feels good. Although, even those positions just a few months ago still were a little uncomfortable, so that’s progress! It’s great to hear that things continue to improve!

[newlywed]

Thanks everyone! Update, 7 months post procedure: occasionally, I still find that I have to dilate or intercourse is uncomfortable, however, that’s less frequent now. We’ve learned that communication is a huge part of good vs okay vs painful sex, and are figuring that out together. Sometimes, it still hurts a little (and we always have to take it very slowly when he first enters), but it’s totally doable, which is incredibly encouraging. And knowing that just talking about what works best for both of us, and some dilation when things have started feeling tight again, is so encouraging. We still have growth to do and have had plenty of frustrations around sex, but now I feel like that’s a lifelong exciting journey together, not an insurmountable obstacle. Also, tampons are amazing. 😉

Final update…we just found out that we’re pregnant! So thankful to Maze, Melissa and the team for playing such a huge role in the process. Now, I can look back at vaginismus as something that was incredibly difficult, but that made our marriage stronger and resulted in a lot of personal growth and insight for me. If you’d asked me 8-months ago how I felt, my tune would’ve been very different. While I never would’ve chosen to walk through this, going through it together has brought many blessings to our lives. I’ve even been able to encourage and provide suggestions to a couple of friends lately who’ve struggled with painful sex.

[newlywed]

*consummate, not consecrate. 🙂 Auto-correct…

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