[newbie]

Hi recessivegenequeen, thank you so much for your encouragement. That’s a good point about going back down one size to see if it feels easy – I’ll have to try that. Would you have any advice on for how long each day it’s advisable to dilate, like should it be 15 mins, half an hour, more? I’m also interested in learning more about the pain aspect, because for me I don’t feel a pain when there’s resistence, just more like a brick wall – it feels like the walls have gone very tight but there’s no pain as such. Is this normal too?

[newbie]

Thank you both – I can hardly put into words how incredibly helpful, supportive and relieving it feels to hear from people who have actually been there. I have been doing well with sizes 2-4 but was wondering what you would class as ‘success’? For example, after a little warm up with 2 and 3, I am able to insert 4 slowly most of the way and have been trying some in and out motions. This ‘works’, however feels tight and slightly like a burning/hot sensation. Is this normal? Also I would be so grateful if you give me some tips on the breathing techniques you mentiones Heather. Just to say also, your insta live was what brought me to this forum and community and I found both your insta live and all the support on this website so incredibly helpful – thank you SO much 🙂

[newbie]

Hi! Thank you so much for replying to me – it’s reassuring to hear I’m not alone with the yo yo progress. As for intercourse, I tend to use sizes 2 – 4 of dilators but the problem is my fiancé is a bit larger than a size 5, which I don’t tend to use at all and I know this might help me but it just looks so scary in comparison to the others. Everyone has said that it would be easier to accommodate that sort of size when you’re being intimate as you’re naturally more relaxed and lubricated, whereas to even think about size 5 when I’m doing my dilator practice feels impossible! Does everyone tend to be able to use all 5 before progressing to comfortable intercourse? Sorry for all the questions!

[newbie]

Hi Rosamund, I have vaginismus and also a condition that means I can’t empty my bladder so I use intermittent, disposable catheters called Conveen Speedicath every time I need to urinate. It does mean I’m more prone to UTIs after sex (not that that happens often with my vaginismus!) or during my period but I would really recommend them as an option – I’ve been using them since I was 14 and they’re super discreet, just look like a lipstick. Happy to chat more if you like – it might be worth a thought before you think about surgery! x

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