[marina]

Want to apologize in advance for TMI.
Hi reader(s)- so after a few more days of staring at my package of dilators, I decided to swallow my fear and open the box. Upon discovering the dilators’ characteristics, I immediately put them away. I don’t know what I was expecting, but I wasn’t expecting an assortment of rock hard plastic tubes. I was actually frightened by what was to come.
So I made an effort to lock myself away in my house, sit down with a few Pornhub favorites and try it out.
Now before, I was never ever able to masterbate with even a finger- no matter how much I wanted or attempted to. So this time I didn’t allow myself room for failure. I was getting that smallest dilator inside my body, no matter how uncomfortable.
It was painful getting the dilator past the wall, as expected. I kept it pressed up against my vagina and waited. I sat there for about five minutes until it finally, as I orgasmed, relaxed and the tube inched in. It was weird. Slight burning, pressure, and a weird warmness. I hated it at first. I felt awkward and it immediately made me nauseous. There was something literally inside my body. Slowly but surely, I was able to slide the dilator in more and more until I reached the lip that indicated the handle of the dilator.
At this point it was incredibly warm, the pressure was nearly unbearable, and I really had to pee. But I thought “no. I’m doing this.” I kept the tube steady for about ten minutes. Instead of not thinking about it, I purposefully focused on it. I repeated to myself, “There is a four inch tube of plastic inside your vagina.” Eventually, the burning went away. I decided to do some Kegel Exercises and I rolled the tube around very gently. I still felt weird and nauseous, but it no longer hurt. I could feel my body trying to push it out, so I don’t know if that’s normal or not, but I kept it propped at the lip on the handle.
A few minutes of the rolling passed, and I began moving the dilator in and out, in and out, in and out- just as a penis or finger would. It felt very warm. Unfortunately, I didn’t get aroused by this so I’m slightly discouraged, but even though it felt uncomfortable, it didn’t hurt. I kept the tube in for about 30 minutes while I watched a show on Netflix.
So the first dilator was a success, despite me being extremely uncomfortable and incredibly turned off.
I’m studying the largest dilator now. It’s going to be a while before I’m able to use it easily, or have normal penetrative sex, but I’m a little bit more confident than I was yesterday and that’s all that matters.
I will update anyone reading on my progress with the first dilator.

[Author]

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