I just feel so alone and wonder how am I ever am going to get over this. It feels almost impossible. I can’t even get a q-tip in me and my fear is so big I don’t even try anymore. I used to wonder why did God make me a woman if He knew I would have this horrible fear? I know better now being that I have grown close to Him but I still feel very sad about it at times. It truly rules my life and my self-esteem. I wouldn’t want anyone to go through this and feel sorry for the people that do. However I feel so happy knowing that there is help and that I’m not alone even though most of the time I do feel that way. My biggest fear is never overcoming it. That I will never be able to be intimate with my husband, have kids, or what if I become sick and not know till its too late.
