[anan326]

I wish that were possible except he has moved out of the house. He left. He needed “time” to think. Now we are almost 5 weeks out and he has made a decision to “start fresh”. He says he cannot see himself “getting over it”. He needs to be “selfish” and think about himself.
I have sent him these forums– I am not sure he has read any of them though.

[anan326]

Hi all,

I am a woman with vaginismus. I feel like your story is identical to the story between my husband and myself. My husband has been out of the house since Jan 2nd.

My husband has left me recently and is determined to have a “fresh” start and move on from this. He feels rejected and emotionally detached from me. He feels that I do not “want” him and I lack “desire” to be with him. None of this is the case. I love him very much. I want to feel like a full woman who can enjoy a sexual relationship with her husband.

We started to seek counseling but he seems very detached and going just for the sake of going.

It is heartbreaking because I love my husband very much and I am not done fighting.

Briggs– What finally made it click for you? That you wanted to go back to your wife? What made you finally realize that you wanted to make it work with her?
I am trying to give him space, but at the same time I don’t want him to think I am not fighting for him. The more time passes, the more if feels as if he is moving farther and farther away from me. Part of me thinks, he has already moved on with someone else, although he has denied this time and time again. He feels that he cannot chance his feelings again. That I made promises in the past to “fix” this but never followed through.

I made an appointment at Maze (tomorrow!), but again, he says I should do this for me and not for him. I not doing this for him, but him leaving did light a fire under my ass. I really want to make it work with my husband. He is my best friend. I miss him so much my whole body aches for him.

Any advice would help!

Thanks!

[anan326]

As someone who is new to this forum (and a female) I want to commend you on reaching out. I feel as if I have hit a wall with my husband and he wants out. I am trying to get him to read about all the other partners/husbands on his site to help him better understand where I am physically/emotionally and that I cannot do this without him.

[anan326]

Edited to add:
I should also mention that he does not understand why I never wanted to “fix” this before. Why he was not “worth my time” or my love.
I want him to know that it is something that is so scary and anxiety provoking for me that I just couldn’t do it.

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