Heather’s “Tips for Trying to Conceive” is such a great read! I’d also like to quickly say that overcoming vaginismus doesn’t have to be a super long journey 🙂 and maybe you can do both (try to conceive without intercourse + try to overcome vaginismus through physical therapy with dilators) concurrently – although understandably, both can be pretty high-stress.
Although it took a few appointments with Maze (women’s health clinic in NYC specializing in vaginismus) before I was able to use dilators, gaining the confidence when I FINALLY was able to use them on my own helped me get through all the different sizes of the dilators!
Good luck with your journey!