vaginismus and bfs

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    Hi im new here and im glad to be here to share my experiences. I just want to share my story and get it off my chest. Well like a lot of women with vaginismus I never knew I had it until my first sexual encounter. My mother was a child of the 70’s where tampons was notorious for causing toxic shock syndrome.Her mother never let her used them because of that and the fear of tampons trickled down to me. I never used a tampon or fooled around with myself where I would stick my finger up there.
    I got my first boyfriend after highschool and I began having a “mature” relationship like so many of my peers. I remember going up to his barracks (he was in the army) and we began to fool around. When it was time for him to insert himself he had trouble finding the hole but once he did it was a never ending struggle. After that he told me he was going to be deployed for a while.Which was a lie by the way. He would call me from time to time but then the phone calls had eventually stopped and I found out he had gotten married. I’ve been single for a while. Most guys around here just want the whole wham bam thank you mam type of deal because it is military town. I kind of want a committed relationship like so many of my friends and peers.But it is hard to find a guy mainly because of the whole vaginismus thing.” After thinking I would be a weird vajayjay spinster forever lol j/k I finally met a cool guy two months ago. He’s a chill guy and he brags about his sexual conquests and However all of his sexual talents and prowess was not going to prepare himself for me. I don’t say this in a bragging way either. Because of my problem he is calling it quits “but we can still be friends” which a code word for “I don’t want to be with you no more.” Im just so distraught about the whole thing but I’ll probably get over him after a while. However I do want to wear tampons and have a successful ob-gyn exam without cringing in pain.


    Hi lirazel. Welcome to the Forum and thank you so, so much for your post. I’m so, so sorry for your struggles with vaginismus. Please know that you are not alone anymore with your feelings and your journey of overcoming and we are all here to support you. Like you, I suffered with vaginismus in the past as well and for my entire relationship and marriage to my wonderful husband. I was unable to even insert q-tip without this pain/burning/blocked feeling and sex or any form of penetration was completely impossible! I felt every emotion known to women while dealing with this and so badly wanted to have sex with my hubby but physically couldn’t. After so many years of searching, I found Dr. Pacik’s program on-line, contacted his office, and received the Botox treatment for vaginismus. I had the procedure with my hubby by my side and, together, we practiced with the dilators, again, something I could’ve never imagined while having vaginismus. Thereafter, within 7 days of my procedure date, we were able to have pain-free intercourse for the first time ever (huge smiles and THANK YOU DR. P!!!!). Next week, on July 4th, we will be celebrating our 2-year “sexversary”!!!! I would definitely encourage you to contact Dr. Pacik’s office. He, along with all of his staff, are beyond amazing, care so much, and support you through every aspect of overcoming this condition. Please know that each one of us that either currently has or has had vaginismus in the past has felt exactly as you describe and, together, we are all here to support you through your journey in overcoming which WILL happen!!! I look forward to reading more of your posts and am here for you always!!!


    Hi lirazel, I’m so glad that you found the Forum and hope that you will feel comfortable in contacting Dr. Pacik. Dr. Pacik and his team are the most empathetic, understanding and kind professionals I have ever met over all the years that I had sought treatment for Vaginismus. I have suffered with Vaginismus since I was a teenager trying to insert a tampon, including most all of my married life of 32 years. After trying almost every method or treatment out there, I finally gave up hope. Last Fall I stumbled across this Forum and Dr. Pacik and had his procedure. It has been 8 months and I still can’t believe that I am able to make love to my husband pain free as well as I had my first real successful GYN appointment. I’m so sorry for all the pain, hurt and frustration that you are going through. I still remember all of those feelings like it was yesterday. But please know there is truly hope now that you found Dr. Pacik!

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