Tips/help before treatment?

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  • #24905
    Stevie
    Participant

    Hey guys –
    After almost ten years struggling with vaginismus, I finally opened up to my family and they were super supportive. I posted earlier about feeling a bit lonely having this condition, and having been rejected by someone I really liked because I had it. A few months later, I have found myself in the best romantic relationship I’ve ever had, with someone who fully accepts me and supports me – with or without vaginismus.

    This Summer I will be going in to have the vaginal botox, and I’m more nervous and afraid than anything else. For those of you who have had it – were you nervous? I feel a bit odd about having someone work on my vagina while I’m unconscious, and I’m petrified that I will panic and break down and feel violated waking up with something inside me. I’ve never had anything inside me. I’ll be happy when my muscles can’t contract to cause pain, but what about the psychological aspect? I’m afraid the mental block will keep me from any type of insertion even if I have the procedure.

    What if I have my period during the procedure? Can I still get it?

    How hard was dilation after the procedure, and how long does it take to achieve intercourse? Is it possible to ask the doctors for anti-anxiety medication? I live abroad and they don’t really prescribe that here. How did you deal with the anxiety that comes with dilation and insertion, and does anyone have any other general tips?

    Thank you so so so much. This forum has been vital for me finding treatment and rediscovering my confidence and self-worth as a woman. Wishing you all the absolute best – because there is so much hope and so many ways to treat this – this coming from someone who felt like giving up on life and love because of this condition. It’s so easy to feel isolated and scared and hopeless, to lose confidence in who you are and in your personal relationships when struggling with any vaginal condition – but things DO get better and it is absolutely possible to find love and to have healthy sexual and romantic relationships while addressing and existing with vaginismus.

    Lots of love,
    Stevie

    #25189
    Heather
    Participant

    I don’t know if you have already had your procedure or not,I see it’s been about 2 months since you posted this.

    First off, I was very nervous for my procedure. But not because of the procedure, I was scared of failing afterwards.

    Yes you can get it done on your period.

    When you awake, the largest size dilator will already be inside you, so it helps tremendously with your mental block. Once you see it’s in there, and your body is more than capable to have that inside you, your brain is like… oh! Okay! We can do this! Dilation isn’t difficult at all, but it isn’t something that will just be easy. Listen to your body, treat yourself gently, trust yourself, and you’ll do just fine!

    I was a sufferer for 10 years and I know 100% the emotional toll it takes on you. It haunted me every day. And 38 days later I had sex. It is different for every girl so don’t worry about how long it will take you.

    After the procedure just be sure to follow instructions, and dilate. Don’t be scared to take a day or 2 off from dilating, our bodies also need their rest. Whenever I found it becoming too much or uncomfortable or I wasn’t going up in size, I took 2 days off and then resumed. You can do this! It’s so easy after the procedure and sex is so worth it!! Good luck!

    Oh and while you are dilating, make yourself as comfortable as possible, it should be a relaxing experience, not a dreadful one. I would always set up a heating pad to lay under my back because heat is warm and comforting, id have a little bowl of candy next to me, my favorite tv show or movie on, and a pillow for my legs to rest on. Just a little tip!

    #25654
    Sks823
    Participant

    Stevie,

    CONGRATULATIONS on the huge huge first step of seeking help.

    I would be surprised if someone WASN’T nervous before the procedure! While I didn’t have the procedure myself (I went to Maze and overcame vaginismus through dilation), I have read a lot about it on these forums and I myself was insanely nervous my first several appointments with dilation at Maze!

    From what I understand, waking up with the dilator is liberating and exciting (hard to believe it’s inside you and you don’t feel pain), not violating at all. Like Heather mentioned, it helps to remove that mental block you have since nothing has ever been inside you without pain.

    I’m not sure how it works with botox, but I was prescribed Xanax for my appointments at Maze. I do have a lot of advice for dilating – for me, it was very important to NOT GIVE UP. It might not be easy but with time and determination you can do it! Always remind yourself, vaginismus is SO TREATABLE, it CAN BE FIXED! Don’t stick to any timeline; like Heather said, listen to your body. I also loved watching Netflix when dilating! Buying a vibrator to make it more enjoyable could also help 🙂

    In my opinion the biggest challenge was when I didn’t exactly know how to use the dilators on my own (and/or didn’t have the confidence to), but once I was able to put in the smallest one by myself, the rest of my vaginismus “journey” went much smoother (with lots of small successes, like being able to use tampons!)

    I know firsthand that vaginismus is a lonely lonely thing to go through – but YOU CAN DO THIS! It’s always a good idea to look through success stories on this forum to show you that there were so many of us in your shoes that were able to overcome vaginismus. Also, I think that the small successes that came with using dilators after botox (inserting the smallest one and not feeling pain, moving onto the next size, using tampons, etc.) kept me going and motivated. I definitely know that after my first couple appointments didn’t go so well (anxiety, pain, feeling helpless & like treatment wouldn’t work on me), having even the smallest successes helped me get on track to eventually “graduate” from the dilation therapy.

    GOOD LUCK and keep us updated! you are AMAZING for taking this step to seek treatment and hope the procedure went well or goes well!

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