Sleeping with dilator

Home Forums Vaginismus Support Group Vaginismus Dilating Sleeping with dilator

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    Hello all – Even after 2 months, I still dread sleeping with a dilator in. I find the pure romance #4 is the most comfortable to sleep in (I tried the glass but wasn’t as fond of it for sleeping). I find I have to sleep with a pillow between my legs or the dilator pushes against me in an irritating way and it hurts. I also occasionally wake up in the middle of the night with it hurting a lot and I run to the bathroom and take it out as quickly as possible as there’s no way I could go back to sleep with that amount of pain. It’s odd though because I feel little to no pain putting them in – it’s really just the extended use of them. I find the same problem with the #6 – I can put it in with no pain, but once it’s in there for 15 minutes, my muscles start cramping and I want it OUT.

    Anyway – I’m not sure if sleeping will always just be an annoyance with them in, but I have yet to find a comfortable position and I definitely don’t get very good sleep when I have one in. I’m up about once an hour trying to reposition myself.


    Hi Nola. I’m so sorry that you are having difficulty sleeping with the dilators.

    In a prior post, a Forum member wrote:
    “I didn’t care for sleeping with the dilators, however it wasn’t impossible. I did it for the first week or so sleeping with the purple dilator. It didn’t hurt at all just hard to get comfortable sometimes so I sat on the neck pillow. I decided sleeping with it in wasn’t for me and I sent Ellen an email asking for any other options. She told me to just extend my dilating in the morning on the nights I was supposed to sleep in it and that has worked wonders for me.”

    Dr. Pacik replied:
    “I agree. Some patients simply struggle with sleeping with dilators, while others find it easy. It’s not the end of the world if this is discontinued and making up extra time during daily dilation. If discomfort returns, it is simply a sign that more dilation is needed (rather than more Botox). If discomfort does return it is never as severe as the original problem of vaginismus.”

    I think it could be very useful here to send Ellen or Dr. Pacik an e-mail and see their thoughts regarding extending your dilating time in the morning or nights rather than sleeping with the dilators. Please know that we are all here to support you. Ladies, do you have any further advice on what helped you here?


    Hi Nola, I’m sorry that you are struggling with sleeping with #4. Like you I dreaded the nights that I would have to sleep with it in. I never really got completely comfortable with it and usually didn’t get a good nights rest. But I looked at it that if it was going to help me to overcome Vaginismus and be able to have pain-free intercourse, then it was worth a night of discomfort. What helped me was to wear snug underwear and a mini pad to help it stay in place. For me dryness is an issue and so I use both cocoa butter and the surgi-lube and that makes it much more comfortable but it still is an awkward feeling and I can’t say that I ever got used to it. But the end goal has sure been worth it. Hang in there! And like Heather said, check with Ellen and Dr. Pacik and get their thoughts as to whether or not you can eliminate it and just dilate longer in the morning.

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