Returning Home after Treatment

[Nakitalab]

I arrived home last night from New Hampshire after a full day of traveling. I’m finding that I have more anxiety now than I ever did. The responsibilities of mom, wife, chief cook and bottle washer have set in. My husband was not able to go with me for Treatment and so I’ve been trying to bring him up to speed with all the valuable knowledge that I have gained from my time with Dr. Pacik and his team. I found that I was extremely nervous dilating with him by my side last night. I think a good part of it was performance anxiety. I was worried what his expectations would be, which when I showed him Mr. Blue and the #6 dilator he was so proud of me and couldn’t believe that I had been working with them. He was so happy for me. So it was nothing that he said, did or implied it was all in my head but I’m having a hard time kicking those feelings out of my head.

We have two children, a son 16 and a daughter 11. For those of you who have children how do you explain to them that you need to have an hour behind closed doors to be by yourself (to work on dilating)? My husband had to travel out of town this morning just for the day. Luckily our son is camping and my husband suggested I tell our daughter that I am feeling tired and just needed to lie done for awhile. That unless it was an emergency to please let me rest. Are there any mothers out there who can share with me how you manage to dilate discreetly with your children in the house?

I’m feeling so anxious today as I have tons of laundry waiting for me, an over affectionate cat who keeps trying to jump on my lap when I’m dilating, a chocolate lab who wants to play ball, a guide dog pup that I need to help take care of and train when my son isn’t home, cook, clean, go grocery shopping, etc. How do other busy Moms continue to do everything and to also find the time to relax and dilate? I’m feeling so overwhelmed today. Plus it feels like lots of emotions from all of these years of suffering with vaginismus are flowing over me. Tears just keep sprouting up.

[Allie]

Obviously, I’m not a mom and do not understand all the responsibilities that you have to maintain and keep up with. Through our texting it sounds like you are doing AMAZING! You will have to find time to put YOU FIRST! I’m sure other Women will have better advice but you are doing great! 🙂

[Nakitalab]

Thanks, Allie. I so appreciate you!

[coffee]

I commend you as well, i don’t have any children, but you are doing great!!!!!!!! My husband and I a made out a schedule for the dilating which included things I do everyday, work, cleaning, etc…….Keep up the great work. I read in one of your entries that you are already on number 6 that is excellent, keep it up!!! I had my procedure Sept 18, still trying to get to six.

[Nicole29]

Hi Nakitalab, as you know, I haven’t had my treatment yet but I wanted to commend you also. I can’t imagine how hard it must be trying to dilate with children as well as a busy schedule. Keep going.. you’re doing so well, take one day at a time, and like Allie said ‘put yourself first’. Wish you the best of luck! x

[Nakitalab]

Hi Nicole29, thank you. When do you go back for treatment? So excited for you. You will love Dr. Pacik and his team. They are amazing, kind and compassionate. I truly feel like they are part of my family now.

[Nicole29]

Hi Nakitalab, I’m scheduled for Dec. I hope you are well and just wanted to say.. Keep going, be strong and Keep the faith. 🙂 🙂 🙂