Questions to ask your doctor and questions your doctor should ask?

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    Hi ladies. One of the most difficult things to go through while having vaginismus was visiting the gynecologist. I know that you ladies understand this and I think it would be great to be put together a list of questions to ask the doctor and questions the doctor should ask concerning vaginismus.

    Concerning questions your doctor should ask, in a prior post, one of our members wrote:
    “Questions the gynaecologist could’ve asked me to speed up my diagnosis: describe your pain; while attempting intercourse, describe your anxiety level on a scale of 1 – 10; is your partner able to achieve any penetration and if so, how much.”

    Concerning questions to ask your doctor and ways of talking to your doctor, in a prior post, one of our members wrote:
    “What may be helpful to others to do before their doctor’s appointment would be to jot down on a piece of paper details you want the doctor to know about but feel you may forget to mention and/or are too embarrassed to discuss with him/her. Take the paper with you so you won’t forget any important points, or pass the paper to your doctor to read……whatever it takes! Hope this is helpful!”

    This is very helpful and thank you for posting it. Ladies, what other ideas do you have for questions to ask your doctor or ways of talking to them about vaginismus both pre and post-procedure? What questions do you believe a gynecologist should ask regarding diagnosing vaginismus?


    Hi ladies. has an absolutely excellent script that is very helpful as a means of talking to your physician about vaginismus:

    Sample Script: Self-Guided History of Sexual Pain
    1. Introduce the problem:
    “I have been having problems with pain during sex and hope you will be able to help me.”

    2.Provide a description of the pain (be specific):
    •It happens when …”my husband tries insert his penis in my vagina” or “once he is inside and starts to move I feel burning and tighten up”, etc.
    •The pain is located …”at the entrance to my vagina. My vagina is like a wall; he just cannot get it in.” or “after he is inside I feel burning around the penis just inside the entrance”, etc.
    •The pain lasts …”as long as he keeps trying, especially if we try forcing it in. Once he stops there is no pain.”
    •This has been happening since …”our honeymoon two years ago and has continued to happen every time we try to have sex” (primary vaginismus) or “my hysterectomy eight months ago”(secondary vaginismus), etc. [Note: Inform your doctor if you have been able to previously have sexual intercourse without pain.]
    •It feels like …”burning”, “stinging”, “like he’s hitting a wall”, “tightness during/on entry”, etc.
    •I have tried to reduce or eliminate the pain by …”using lubricant, changing sexual positions, relaxing more.”
    •I am able / unable to …”insert a tampon or complete a gynecological exam.”

    3.Mention any past problems:
    Have you previously had any sexually transmitted diseases, yeast infections, bladder problems, or any pelvic pain outside of penetration?

    4.Mention any past sexual abuse.

    5.State what you think the problem is:
    “I think it may be vaginismus. My symptoms are similar to those outlined in an article I read. However, I have read there are other things that can cause pain during sex and would like to have them ruled out.”

    Does anyone have any additional ideas to make it easier to talk to a doctor about vaginismus? Also, what questions would you have liked a doctor to ask you in diagnosing vaginismus?


    I have a suggestion that may help others, although with the ob/gyn I saw, I did not receive what I was asking for.

    I saw a specialist who I believed would help me explore alternatives to lubricants for my pain. During the first visit, I explained to her that I had been given the lubrication and the estrogen therapies (what I call basic treatments, although these can help!), and that I was looking for another therapy. I emphasized my frustration, desperation, and desire to find an unconventional and even radical treatment. I explained that I was wanting to by-pass the basic treatments and explore other treatments (I asked about permanent numbing, with nerve deadening or even something like novacaine to deaden the pain). Nearly one year later, I was told that there really weren’t further treatment options available.

    I still believe it is important to be honest with your doctor about where you are with your anxiety and feelings about your desire to move forward. Although this ob/gyn apparently had not heard about other treatments such as is offered by Dr. Pacik, you may find that your doctor (or even a friend) is aware of it.


    Hi katiem. Welcome to the Forum and thank you for your post. I am so sorry for your struggles with vaginismus. I struggled with vaginismus for my entire 11year relationship/5 year marriage in the past and only learned of Dr. Pacik and this procedure through self-diagnosis and on-line research/forum. I loved what you wrote about the importance of being open and honest with your doctor about where you are with your anxiety/feelings about your desire to move forward as he or she may very well be aware of different treatments for vaginismus, including Dr. Pacik’s treatment. I feel that this is so very important. So many of us discovered this condition and treatment through self-diagnosis and researching on-line and it would be so wonderful if more and more treating physicians would know of both first. Please know that we are all here for you and I look forward to reading more of your posts.

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