Need some tips

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    Hello ladies!

    I need a little help. Hopefully someone can give me tips. I am 5 days post procedure. I had mine done on Monday. Everything went well. I wasn’t able to wake up with the biggest dialator in me bc of spasms but had the 5 in. I remember going in the bathroom taking it out and putting it back in. Huge steps! Then we went back to our beds had lunch and I inserted the 4 no problem. That night I would have no problem taking it in and out to use the restroom. The next day, I remember going from 4 to 5 with no troubles. (By the way Dr. Pacik class on day 2 was so informative and helpful thanks again) day 1 post procedure at night I was able to dialate with the glass 4 (way easier with glass) for over an hr then I switched to glass 5 and did that for about 27 mins with lots pain and was uncomfortable slept with 4 in no problem. Day 2 post procedure I wore the 4 glass dialator after work for almost 2 hrs then jumped to 5 glass with some pain for about 4o minutes. Day 3 post procedure I got the 4 glass in for 1/2 hr in the am then at night for over an hr. I tried 5 glass got it 1/2 way and was in pain and stopped calling it a night. Day 4 post procedure (yesterday) I dialated with 4 glass for 3 hours!! No pain it’s now slipping in easy. I tried glass 5 and again got it 1/2 way in and it burned and hurt to bad and I took if out and called it a night again walking out of the bedroom in tears.

    My question is why am I struggling to get that glass 5 back in? 2 days ago I was wearing it with pain but could get it in and now I can’t! It makes me tear up everytime bc I think to myself am I ever going to get it in? My husband is between a 5 and 6 and if I can’t get it well never have sex! I’m still lubing it up a TON and using the jar of medicated Lube we got at the appt still have not weaned off of it yet. Does any one have suggestions? I usually feel most comfortable laying on the bed inserting that way. I’ve tried kegels and they helped but now doesn’t matter. I know we have good and bad dialating days but really? I even had a glass of wine at dinner last night to help relax and that didn’t help. Should I try a different way to insert the glass 5? My husband even came in the bedroom to help insert it and after it was 1/2 way in I made him take it out bc it was burning and tearing to much and u had major leg lock . It’s that hump I need to get over. Which I don’t get bc 2 days ago it was in. 🙁

    Anyone who can write back and help with suggestions would be great. Thanks so much. Do you think it will be easier onccd Botox kicks in? My goal is to slide 5 in as comfortable as 4 :-/ Also I can add my vaginas been soor off and on the times I don’t dialate but that’s probably just the fact it’s adjusting to this new routine.

    Dr. Pacik

    It is still very early in the big picture (5 days). I am working with a patient who finally advanced to the #5 after 11 weeks. I keep stressing that it takes time for the muscles to stretch. Just stay with the program and you will do fine. Any other advice from my dilating divas?


    Thanks Dr. Pacik


    Hi Katie. Please know that we are all here for you. What you are experiencing right now post-procedure is very common and I promise you that it will get better. I wanted to share a great thread with you that touches on this and I hope it helps. Sending you huge hugs!!!!

    From Bethany:

    “… After leaving the #4 purple in for nearly an hour, I attempted to go back up to #5 pink. I was able to get it most of the way in, but the searing/burning was still present. It actually felt better when I moved the dilator in and out-as strange as that seems. I was only able to tolerate it for a short time, standing up and holding it in place. Now, I am SOO sore. Oh my goodness. I feel like my downstairs has been put through a clothes wringer. I have been taking my regime of Advil today and will take some Advil PM here in a moment. I think I was under somewhat of a false idea (of my own making), that I would just magically emerge from the procedure and be pretty much cured. Not that I wouldn’t need to dilate, but that I would not feel the considerable pain I am currently feeling while dilating. My case of vaginismus is considered somewhat less severe, so I am not sure if this is why I created these false hopes. I know I am only one day after the procedure, but I guess I am still feeling somewhat discouraged at the amount of pain. This is the kind of pain I have been avoiding for the last 5/6 years and it just brings up lots of bad memories. Is there any reassurance that dilating will get less painful when the Botox kicks in? Also- when do you stop feeling SO sore? Thank you everyone!! I appreciate it. I have already been encouraged by many posts on here. xoxo b.”

    My reply:

    “Post-procedure, I noticed that dilating got a lot more comfortable as the Botox kicked in and the more days that I did it. I found it to be a roller-coaster at times in my first week post-procedure – a couple of days very good dilating with little pain and then a day that was very uncomfortable and then back to less pain the next day. Dr. P has written about this roller-coaster that occurs and I wanted to share a couple of helpful posts with you.

    Mabel 1226: I think the best way to think about this is this: the muscles in our vaginal walls have never really been stretched before. I keep telling myself I wouldn’t expect my body to be able to run a marathon if it had been in a wheelchair for 20 years. I, too, felt “guilty” for starting back at the purple before going up again. I am now 54 days post-procedure and still can’t get the blue glass in unless the pink glass has been in for 2 hours. One step at a time. You’ll get there in your own time and in your own way. Don’t get discouraged!

    Dr. Pacik: Post procedure dilation is a “roller coaster” ride during the first 1-2 weeks after treatment. The muscles are still tight and “talking back” as they are being stretched. Since most women feel they will be the one person for whom Botox does not work, any difficulty with dilation immediately verifies these feelings. Then the muscles loosen up as the Botox is taking effect and the week or two of dilation is starting to be noticeable with less pain and therefore less anxiety. Now it is just a question of continuing with the program of dilation, and most of my patients at this stage begin thinking of transitioning to intercourse.

    SP: Dr. Pacik is correct that dilating early on is a roller coaster ride. You are making progress and definitely celebrate every success! Even once you start trying intercourse you will have days where it goes smoothly and days where you wonder if the procedure worked. Stay positive and keep trying. I remember thinking will intercourse ever not have to be a “robotic” process. A little over 3 years now from my procedure I can tell you I rarely have to worry or get prepared to have intercourse. You are doing great and soon you will not even think about all the dilating and struggle. 🙂

    When do you stop feeling SO sore?

    My reply: “I definitely felt soreness for a couple of weeks post-procedure as there was just so much activity in the area where before there was none. Most recently, a November treated patient wrote a great post with a suggestion for Hydrocortisone cream and this was followed up by Dr. P: “Dr. Pacik’s suggestion to use Hydrocortisone Cream has been a HUGE help for me. My lady bits are just so dang sensitive!!! I bought Hydrocortizone10 in the Cooling Gel formula for during the day and I’ve felt SO much better – then I’ve been using the Hydrocoritzone10 in the ointment for adding to my lube mix with dilating at night. I honestly can’t believe how much that’s helped me feel better the last couple days.” – “It is common for women to have some skin irritation as a result of post procedure dilation. There is suddenly a great deal of penetrative activity that did not exist in previous years. 1% hydrocortisone is an over the counter topical that is anti-inflammatory and can be purchased either as a cream (faster acting) or as an ointment (longer lasting). It is generally used as a pea sized amount rubbed into the irritated area twice a day and can be used for 1-2 weeks.”

    27 days post-procedure, Bethany wrote:

    “I underwent my Botox procedure on January 13th, 2014 and we successfully achieved intercourse on February 9th! 27 days after my procedure! It was truly an amazing day!! Never did we think this could happen for us. It did not come without tears, hardwork and some pain.”

    Katie, please, please know that this, too, WILL get better for you and we are all here for you!!!


    When I first got home from my procedure I was really ambitious and wanted to move quickly, but one thing I learned is not to OVER dilate. Which made me too sore and increased my pain. If you stick to the 2 hours a day and sleep with it every other night that is just fine! When I tried 3 or even 4 hours of dilating in a day, it was too much for my body and increased my pain. Just be patient and don’t worry- you are doing so good! I found that I had pain while inserting the larger dilators for the first several weeks, so don’t worry if you have some pain right now a few days out from your procedure- that’s totally normal! Over time you will see that as your muscles become more flexible, the pain will melt away:-)


    Read my success story please under success stories. I advanced to 5 and I wrote about it. Thanks for the tips 🙂

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