My husband doesnt understand

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  • #8743
    Anonymous
    Guest

    The male suffers alongside the female. Feelings of rejection are common. No matter what is explained nothing seems to change until the partner is in the operating room witnessing that even under anesthesia (patient is unconscious), the pelvis continues to writhe making every attempt to escape being touched. The spasm of the entry muscle noted in the operating room (actual physical block to penetration even under sedation) and the involuntary dance of the pelvis is enough to make even the most detached male a sudden convert knowing for once that this is not under your control.

    #10824
    mmHeather34
    Moderator

    Welcome to the forum and thank you for your post. I am the Forum moderator. I’m so sorry for the struggles that you described. I suffered with pacik level 5 primary vaginismus for several years and and was cured within one week of receiving this procedure. Dr. Pacik and his staff are all incredibly kind, caring, and extremely knowledgeable about this condition. I think the best thing to do is to contact Dr. Pacik’s office at 1-603-669-0290 or 1-800-640-0290.

    #10822
    Dr. Pacik
    Participant

    The male suffers alongside the female. Feelings of rejection are common. No matter what is explained nothing seems to change until the partner is in the operating room witnessing that even under anesthesia (patient is unconscious), the pelvis continues to writhe making every attempt to escape being touched. The spasm of the entry muscle noted in the operating room (actual physical block to penetration even under sedation) and the involuntary dance of the pelvis is enough to make even the most detached male a sudden convert knowing for once that this is not under your control.

    #10823
    Anonymous
    Guest

    I live on the East coast, I don’t think it would be possible for me to come to CA…

    #10826
    Anonymous
    Guest

    I feel awfully guilty for making my husband go through this.

    #10828
    Nakitalab
    Participant

    Oh shevrotain I wish I could come through the screen and give you a big hug. I totally understand what you are feeling as I felt the same way for so many years. I am 52 years old and suffered with vaginismus almost all of my life and my husband and I have been married for 31 years. Like you I felt totally guilty, feeling like my husband should leave me and find someone who was “normal”. It is so hard for our spouses/boy friends to understand how very real vaginismus is and it is not just all in our head. That is awesome that you live on the East Coast because Dr. Pacik is located in New Hampshire. So travel for you might be easier than it has been for many of us. Some women even travel from other countries to receive this successful procedure. I traveled from Arizona and my husband was not able to go with me, but my sister was by my side. Today marks 37 days since my procedure and words can’t express what a blessing this Forum has been to me as well as Dr. Pacik and his staff. Although we have only had intercourse three/four times it has been totally pain free! It is still methodical and I have a long way to go as far as learning to trust and to also work on the intimacy part. And so like Dr. Pacik says, I need my mind to catch up with the amazing progress of my body. When intercourse hurts, it is not something that we look forward to and we definitely don’t want to initiate it or even be intimate at all for fear it is going to lead up to painful intercourse. I promise you Dr. Pacik’s procedure works! I truly thought that I would be the one that it wouldn’t work on, especially since I have had it for so long and have tried everything from counseling, alcohol, to a hymenectomy and an episiotomy. Please contact Dr. Pacik. I promise you, it will be the best choice you have ever made. You can be free of Vaginismus! I encourage you to read as many of the posts on the Forum as you can and to also post. There are so many of us that have been where you are and we have now conquered Vaginismus. I am here for you, shevrotain and praying that you will take the first step and contact Dr. Pacik. If you would like to chat more I can give you my e-mail address.

    #10835
    Palmtree721
    Participant

    Shevrotain,
    All of the feelings that you are having are the same feelings that I had before I went to Dr. Pacik’s office to have the procedure done. Also, like Nakitalab, I had tried several different things (laparoscopy, dilators, physical therapy, trigger point injections, lidocaine, etc.) prior to Dr Pacik’s procedure and nothing solved the problem or even helped the problem. My husband and I got to the point where there was no intimacy and we were just two people living in the same house like roommates. I was trying everything I could to fix myself, but he just didn’t understand and he wasn’t giving me the support that I needed. I felt like a freak and I thought I was going to lose my husband because I couldn’t give him a normal sexual relationship. We sat down and had a heart-to-heart one day and I explained how important his support was and that we needed to work together to overcome this problem. From that point on, my husband was very supportive. He was the one who actually found Dr. Pacik’s website. I had my doubts at first because I had tried so many things already and they had all failed. I had already tried dilators without much success, so I feared this procedure would fail too. I was really nervous the night before the procedure, but Dr. Pacik and his staff are one of a kind. When I arrived for the procedure and met the other women who would be getting the procedure done at the same time, I finally felt like someone understood what I had been going through for years. It is an amazing thing to go through the procedure with other women who have had similar struggles and truly understand what you are going through. My husband was with me during the procedure and it really was an eye-opening experience for hime to witness just like Dr. Pacik said above. The combination of the Botox and the dilators and Dr. Pacik’s instruction proved to be the successful combination! It has almost been 4 months since I had the procedure. The Botox has worn off, but I’m still able to dilate without a problem and my husband and I are enjoying the sexual intimacy that we dreamed of. Contacting Dr. Pacik was the best decision we could have made. You are not alone! This forum is full of ladies who understand you and can empathize with your situation.

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