In desperate need of help!

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    Hey to all! I am 24 yrs old living with vaginismus.I have been with the same man for 7 yrs.who I am now married to and have been for almost 4yrs niw.I suffer from sexual abuse when I was younger & also a horrible experience with a gyn at age 15.I Still have extreme anxiety during pap exams,I cry u name it I do.I’ve never been able to have one,its very embarrassing & emotionally hard.Luckily my husband understands we are able to have sex but mostly burning and pains occur,we have yet been able to get threw my hymen.we do plan to have children in the near future but want to get threw this first.Unfortunately I live in Ga & am unable to find a Dr to help so I need advice! Please help me I’m desperate!!!!! 🙁


    Hi! Welcome to the forum. So sorry that you are going through this. I was never able to find a dr either that actually understood what vaginismus was. Have you ever worked with dilators or tried to anyways? I wasn’t able to even insert a q-tip before I went to Dr. Pacik for treatment. I had my procedure last October. My husband of 6 years and I are finally able to have pain free sex. Are you looking into going to NH for treatment? Or maybe start dilation therapy? I was not a good candidate for the dilation on my own. I had so much anxiety and fear and just couldn’t bring myself to insert anything. If it wasnt for me finding Dr. Pacik’s website last year I know I would still be suffering. We are all here for you and know exactly what you are going through. We are all here to support you and help you.



    Hi godawgs13. I am so sorry to hear of your struggles with vaginismus and I am so, so happy you have found Dr. Pacik’s website and this forum. I, too, struggled with vaginismus for several years and the majority of my relationship and marriage prior to finding Dr. Pacik’s treatment. I tried several other treatments prior, including using dilators on my own, PT, biofeedback, etc. and nothing worked to cure my vaginismus.

    For me personally, Dr. Pacik’s treatment was the cure that my husband and I had searched for so long for as it combined both physical as well as emotional treatment for vaginismus. I had the 10-20 minute Botox procedure under anesthesia and then woke up with the largest silicone blue dilator inside of me (pure romance dilator set). This was a turning point for me as I realized for the first time that something of this size was inside of me entirely pain free and it gave me such increased confidence. Thereafter, you are assisted and taught how to insert, remove, and re-insert all of the sized dilators. This, too, was such an important aspect of the program. Prior to the procedure, I was so nervous that I would not be successful with this part of the program and would never be able to do what they were asking of me (i.e. inserting and removing these foreign objects of all sizes … even bigger than my husband). I couldn’t have been more wrong and the gentle approach they have to helping you learn how to do this and also supporting both you and your spouse/partner is like nothing else out there and so, so helpful and important to my overall success in being cured from vaginismus. Also, by practicing using the dilators (again, of all sizes) together with your partner, it may sound funny, but it brings you so much closer and builds trust.

    Then, I also mentioned that there is such an important emotional component of Dr. Pacik’s treatment program. On Day 2, there is comprehensive counseling about so many aspects of vaginismus, including its impact on relationships, ways to develop both your romantic and also intimate relationship for either the first time or again, how to support and grow with each other, and just so many more topics. Additionally, and something that is lacking in other treatment programs out there, there is comprehensive follow-up in which you have to stick to a daily dilation schedule and report your dilation, pain, and anxiety in a daily log to Dr. Pacik and the staff. This component, again, is crucial to succeeding and truly curing vaginismus as it keeps you accountable for your own progress and is also incredibly supportive. I would urge you to contact Dr. Pacik’s office to discuss treatment options (1-603-669-0290 or 1-800-640-0290).

    Can’t wait to read more of your posts!!!


    Hi godawgs13. In my last post to you, I forgot to mention that Dr. Pacik also offers remote supported dilating therapy in select cases. In those cases, there have been several, several positive posts and one of the ladies progressed to the point that she was able to become pregnant. Amazing and such wonderful success stories!!! Here are a couple of posts that describe remote supported dilating therapy:


    In an excerpt from the second post, the patient writes:

    “I was only able to tolerate intercourse if I completely numbed the internal vaginal muscles with Lidocaine….As the years went by and the pain was still as intense, I became more and more discouraged that I would never be able to have pain free intercourse again. Thankfully, I have not given up and that thin thread of determination lead me to Dr. Pacik. I knew from the moment I saw his website and started reading all the posted information that I had finally found the right person to help me. Dr. Pacik’s knowledge of vaginismus and all the emotional baggage that accompanies it is truly amazing. I was so impressed by his level of personal communication as soon as I contacted his office. Through phone calls, Skype conversations and emails, we agreed upon a course of treatment. I was not able to fly to N.H. to have the Botox treatment, so we committed to a long distance treatment relationship that focused on dilation only. I knew in my heart that I would have success with the dilators and Dr. Pacik believed in me 100%. While I was waiting to receive the “Pure Romance” dilators he recommended, Dr. Pacik suggested I read his book and other publications on vaginismus, which were extremely informative and liberating. Knowledge is power! Once I received the dilators, Dr. Pacik instructed me on how to begin and asked me to email him daily about my progress. I started out with dilating in the morning and evening using the smaller dilators. I slept with a dilator inserted every other night. Dr. Pacik was very supportive and helped me not get discouraged when I would feel any burning sensations after dilations. I am 8 months into my dilation treatment with Dr. Pacik and I have progressed up to using the largest 2 dilators without pain. With proper dilation beforehand, I have even achieved pain free intercourse a few times! I know daily dilation will be in my future for awhile since like all muscles, the vaginal wall muscles need to be stretched so they can stay flexible. I truly cannot express my gratitude to Dr. Pacik and all the wonderful people who work with him. I whole-heartedly recommend working with Dr. Pacik in whatever capacity can be arranged.”


    Hi godawgs13, my husband and I have been married for over 32 years and like you we were able to have intercourse but it was extremely painful for me. Even lidocaine couldn’t fully take away the pain. As well I was never able to have a GYN exam. My appointments ended in lots of tears, frustration and humiliation. I felt like a total freak and was obsessed with this condition, thinking about it consistently, why was I so different than other girls/women. I had my procedure with Dr. Pacik October of last year and have faithfully followed his dilation plan. On day 14 after my procedure I was able to have intercourse painfree! I still can’t believe it and have to pinch myself each time. Two weeks ago I had my first successful GYN exam and this time there were tears of joy instead of humiliation! I’m so glad that you have found Dr. Pacik’s website and this Forum. I so hope that you will call Dr. Pacik and talk to him about the right type of treatment for you. He is the most kind, sympathetic doctor you will ever come across and he totally understands what you have been going through. Please don’t give up hope. Because I promise, you can be healed as well!


    Hi godawgs13,

    I understand how you feel and couldn’t insert a q-tip when I first found out I had vaginismus. I used dilators for many years and made some progress but not enough to have full penetration during intercourse. It wasn’t until I had Dr. Pacik’s botox procedure that I was able to have intercourse. I used the dilators 30 min to 1 hr before we tried each time, used lots of lubrication, and used a bullet vibrator on my clitoris to help relax the muscles. When we decided to get pregnant, I quickly conceived – that was the easy part! I bought a Clearblue Fertility Monitor from Costco online and on my fertile days, we tried to get pregnant. It helps to have an orgasm after the semen is inserted. Then I put my legs up against the bed wall for 30 min afterwards to help the sperm travel faster to the egg.

    Don’t give up! It takes lots of patience but it’s worth it at the end. There are solutions out there that work and it’s helped cure many of us. I still cringe each time I go in for a vaginal exam but I just gave birth to a healthy baby boy 2 weeks ago and have gone a long way. If it’s possible for me, it’s possible for you too! Good luck!

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