Giving up

[missa05200]

I just want to give up. I’ve tried using dilators, oxalate diets, antidepressants, anxiety pills, and physical therapy. Nothing has worked. Sure my pain isn’t as bad as it was, but I still can’t sit on hard surfaces or wear jeans. My boyfriend and I have been together for six years and our relationship is on the rocks bad because I can’t have sex and I’m always depressed. I know he is trying to be understanding but there is only so much he can take.

I just want to throw my hands up and say you win vaginismus. You win. I’m done trying. I don’t have the money for this clinical trial. So this unfortunately isn’t even an option. I have a bad feeling that this pain will be forever. This is how its going to be and I just have to accept it.

[23years]

This sounds so familiar. I was 23 when I was diagnosed. Tried the Oxalate diet too after mailing 24 hour urine to Denver to a biochemist who timed my Oxalate supplementation based upon my body’s creation of Oxalate. That didn’t work. Tried 10mg of Elavil and after six months, my pain was less but never gone. I still don’t wear jeans and sitting on couches, edge of chairs, used to hurt. I understand exactly what you mean!! But not anymore.

That was 23 years ago when my hell began! Back then I did not have an option! I only learned of Dr Pacik this year! And HE and his Botox IS the answer! I had my procedure June 30th and physically my body is better! I don’t get that burning uncomfortable feeling. I don’t have pain sitting. I can have pain free intercourse.

No longer should the “V” win. You are not powerless. There ARE answers. This is the solution.
Money is always an obstacle. It seems like a lot. I know. But people take loans out for cars, for homes, for recreational vehicles. We use credit cards for department stores. There is care credit, tax returns, private funds, credit cards, personal loans, etc etc. Where there is a will there is a way.

Your quality of life is dependent upon it. I know it seems insurmountable. But it’s not.

Please don’t give up. You deserve to be better and to overcome this awful condition!!

Hang in there and we are here for you!!

[Marianna162]

Hi Missa,

I’m so sorry you feel like you have to give up. I do know the discouragement feeling very well. I give you a lot of credit for even attempting all of the ways to treat vaginismus that you’ve tried. Maybe a loan would be an option, like 23years said? I know I’ve seen it written places that insurances are covering more procedures now, too. I do hope that you don’t give up. I’ve read your posts in other threads, and just from going through this myself, I know what a toll it takes on you. I feel like I’ve been through the wringer, emotionally, and my self esteem basically got shot. And I certainly understand the toll-taking on a relationship. You do, as 23years said again, deserve to overcome this though. Hang in there!

[missa05200]

Thank you both for the encouraging words. I really appreciate it. I’ve got two doctors appointments this week with two different doctors for my pelvic pain. So hopefully I get some answers and solutions from at least one of them.

[Marianna162]

Good luck! 🙂