Finally Doing Something

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    Hello everyone,

    I’m Marly and I’m 23. Sex has always been somewhat painful for me and recently it’s gotten worse. (I think because my anxiety over this issue has been steadily increasing) I had always thought that it was something i just had to grit my teeth and bear through and was getting increasingly frustrated with myself when I couldn’t.

    There are a couple of times when sex hasn’t been completely painful and I’ve managed to use tampons (not painlessly but not unbearably either) so I definitely think this is something I can overcome, I’m just looking for some support. I’ve been reading through the forums and I have to say… Botox is NOT an option for me. Needles are my absolute biggest fear and there’s no way I’d ever be able to do it. So I’ve just been trying some exercises and I do think they’re making a difference.

    It’s nice to know I’m not the only one dealing with this, I’ve always felt so different. Like I was just being a baby and needed to bear through the pain. But now I know that’s not the case and I need to be patient with myself.


    Hi Marly. Welcome to the Forum and thank you for your post. I am 100% here to support you along your journey of overcoming vaginismus. I had primary vaginismus during my 20s and early 30s and understand the feelings you described so well. I always felt like I was the only one who had this as I never told anyone and the only ones who knew were my then boyfriend (now husband) and the few docs we visited. Please, please know you are not alone with this at all. Have you tried using vaginal dilators yet? Right after my treatment, I used the Pure Romance Dilator set. By practicing with the varying sized dilators, I cannot even describe in writing how much it helped me. Physically, I did this for 2 hours per day and slept with one every other night. This allowed me to become stretched which eliminated my pain altogether. Mentally, it helped me as I became more and more confident that dilating did not hurt and also dilated for a couple of hours in advance of transitioning to pain-free intercourse. I want to share the link for the second issue of the VaginismusMD Newsletter that discusses all-things dilating. Specific topics include: Styles and Materials of Dilators, Getting Started with Dilation, Anxiety Control, Advanced Dilation Techniques, and Transitioning to Intercourse. Ok, sending you support and hugs!!

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