Finally addmitting my problem outloud

[sherrie87]

Hi there I am a new member here *waves* I have only just been diagnosed with vaginisums I didn’t even realize there was a medical term for what I am going through.
This is my story I could never use tampons or have a doctors examination growing up it was always too painful, at that age I was depressed never thought I would find anyone and gave up on the idea of love in my twwns fastforward to now (im 26) I still never thought anyone could ever love me in December I met the only person I had ever agreed to go on a date with when he called me beautiful I flinched he said “why dont you believe me when I say your beautiful” I explained to him what had happened in the past and he was very understanding, a couple of months into the relationship I felt ready for sex (to be honest I felt ready the moment I met him) but he couldnt get in he stopped because he said he doesnt want to hurt me and he wants my first time to be enjoyable we have tried several times he is so patient I remember the first time he said he loved me I cried I just want to make love to the man I love that I never thought I would find but each time we try its like a brick wall (we have been together for 5 and a half months now he is very understanding)
I just admitted my problem to my gp and she is sending me to a gynocologist but I have to wait 4 weeks im hoping to get some kind of treatment that can help me im glad I found this forum I thought I was alone

[Dr. Pacik]

Thanks Sherrie87 for your very meaningful post.

Quote:

“He said why don’t you believe me when I say your beautiful”

As we all know, especially as we get older, beauty is only skin deep. It is the beauty in the heart that counts and this is the beauty your boyfriend saw. Always remember this and walk tall through life. I wish you all the best.

[Heather34]

Hi Sherri. Welcome to the Forum and thank you so, so much for your post. I found myself welling up with tears after reading your post as this is exactly what I felt throughout my 20s and while I suffered with vaginismus. I am so sorry for your struggles and so happy that you have found this Forum. We are all here to support you. Like you, I suffered with vaginismus in the past as well and for my entire relationship and marriage to my wonderful husband. I was unable to even insert q-tip without this pain/burning/blocked feeling and sex or any form of penetration was completely impossible! I felt every emotion known to women while dealing with this and so badly wanted to have sex with my hubby but physically couldn’t. After so many years of searching, I found Dr. Pacik’s program on-line, contacted his office, and received the Botox treatment for vaginismus. I had the procedure with my hubby by my side and, together, we practiced with the dilators, again, something I could’ve never imagined while having vaginismus. Thereafter, within 7 days of my procedure date, we were able to have pain-free intercourse for the first time ever (huge smiles and THANK YOU DR. P!!!!). Next week, on July 4th, we will be celebrating our 2-year “sexversary”!!!! I would definitely encourage you to contact Dr. Pacik’s office. He, along with all of his staff, are beyond amazing, care so much, and support you through every aspect of overcoming this condition. Please know that each one of us that either currently has or has had vaginismus in the past has felt exactly as you describe and, together, we are all here to support you through your journey in overcoming which WILL happen!!! I look forward to reading more of your posts and am here for you always!!!

[Nakitalab]

Hi Sherri, like Heather your post brought tears to my eyes as I remember all to well feeling those very same emotions. For many years, I too had no idea there was actually a name for it. I suffered with Vaginismus for over 32 years and had tried every treatment, method under the sun with minimal success. Last Fall I stumbled across this Forum and Dr. Pacik and my life has been changed for the better ever since. I so hope that you will feel comfortable in contacting Dr. Pacik and learning more about his treatment. The Forum has truly been a blessing to me; knowing that I wasn’t alone was huge as I truly thought I was the only person in the world who couldn’t make love to my husband, use a tampon or have a GYN appointment. It has been so healing for me to be able to share my journey as well as both my ups and downs on the Forum with others. We are all here for each other as well as for you. It no longer has to be a secret and something that we suffer with in silence. But even more wonderful is that Dr. Pacik’s treatment truly works! And you truly can be free of Vaginismus! I know it may feel strange and maybe a bit awkward in sharing such an intimate, personal condition with strangers, but like Heather, please know that I am here for you. All of us here on the Forum are here for you. You are no longer alone! :0)

[sherrie87]

im glad I have found this forum I wish I could go see Dr. Pacik I live in the uk I was wondering if there was any similar treatment available here that anyone knows of or id love to come to the us too, iv had a lot of surgery in the past (iv had 7 heart operations) so im open to anything really iv had to fight through a lot and now I have this little hurdle too im realy happy iv found someone so understanding that is happy to wait until sex is enjoyable he means a lot to me

[sherrie87]

I managed to get myself a set of dilators over the weekend I was just wondering how long do you use each size before moving onto a bigger size?

[Heather34]

Hi sherrie. In your post, you wrote “I’d love to come to the US too” … There are so many previously treated patients that have traveled from the UK. There is a great thread, titled “Botox Treatment for UK Patients” that I’d love to share that details the account of 3 patients who traveled over from the UK:

http://www.vaginismusmd.com/vaginismus-md-forum/?mingleforumaction=viewtopic&t=51.0

Your partner sounds so, so supportive and wonderful. Regarding your questions about dilation time before moving on to bigger sized dilators, I believe this varies so much from person to person. I was unable to even insert a q-tip prior to my procedure in June 2011. I tried so hard to insert the dilators on my own, but each time, it felt like I was hitting a wall of resistance and it would cause a burning/pain feeling. Once I woke up with the largest dilator in place (blue – pure romance), I remember removing it and reinserting it right back in. This was the first time in my entire life that I had anything inside of me and I was in such shock that it didn’t hurt. Thereafter, I practiced with all of the dilators (purple, pink, and blue – pure romance) and transitioned to intercourse with my hubby in 7 days – thank God and thank Dr. P! I dilated regularly for a year post-procedure in addition to intercourse. I mainly dilated with the largest blue dilator in advance of intercourse and ob/gyn exams.

You have gone through so, so much in the past with your heart surgeries and you are so courageous and strong. Your post brings tears to my eyes and I know you will be able to overcome vaginismus. I so hope you will be able to work with Dr. Pacik in some capacity. He is the most kind, compassionate, and caring doctor that I’ve ever met and he is so knowledgeable about every aspect of vaginismus. Please know that we’re all here to support you!!! :):):)